American Idol: R & B Night ... What a Difference an Usher Makes!

Well three cheers for Usher, is alls I got to say about last night's American Idol, R & B Night. If only all of them would have heeded the advice of the sunglassed one, it may have been a perfect night. But alas, Tim Urban remains unchanged, and so I'll settle for a vastly improved night instead.

Usher on Lee: Believe in Yourself. Although he may think he still belongs in the paint shop, Lee Dewyze really has a shot at winning this whole shin dig. Oh, simply the song title alone "Treat Her Like a Lady" mixed in with that gritty voice = one hot and bothered Elizabeth. You can treat me like a lady, Lee. Any ol' time. (Okay, sorry if just made anyone feel uncomfortable there.) Usher and I just ask one thing of you: Believe in yourself! Simon told you this may be the night your life changes forever, yet I still think you will come out next week with the ever present look of fear in those glistening baby blues. Not to mention, your desire to eat your guitar pick right after your performance was over may indicate that you still inexplicably have a low level of confidence. But well done, Lee ... sustain this feeling and enjoy it.

Usher On Tim: Picture me as Your Lady. Oh, Usher. Let's not confuse the young chap too much. Using one's imagination is a scary thought indeed. Of course, Urban could not do this, so the man (who has been compared to the King of Pop, mind you) stepped away and hid behind the piano so as not to make the young Urban too uneasy. Young Urban then took the stage, botched some "Sweet Love," put me to sleep in the process, all the while scaring the hell out of me with those maniacal eyes of his. When Usher told you to connect, Timmy-boy, it didn't mean to terrify your viewers like you are coming to get them. (Props to Ellen for her humorous critique ... "we see ya walkin' toward us, you don't have to sneak up on us!" Oh yeah, and her congratulations for challenging yourself with that song, but "oh boy, why?" was probably her highlight of the night.) Simon slyly dismissed the irrelevant Urban by not even offering a critique, which, of course, went unnoticed on "Teflon Tim." By the way, Tim, that ain't a compliment!

Next:  Usher on Andrew: You Got This! 

Read more »

Read more...

American Idol Top 12: Results Show Recap - Superlative Style

Okay guys. The Idol Top 12 Results show tonight sent Lacey Brown packing, and I'll have you know, I am writing these words as she still sits in the silver chair next to Paige-Still don't know her last name. I either want to say Miles or Davis. Anyhoo, I'm pretty sure it's going to be Brown, so I'll just go ahead and start writing now. Bah-Bah Billy Goat.
I've decided to sum up our results in the form of Idol Superlatives because I saw so many of them come about tonight. So without further ado:

Most Funny: Randy Jackson! With a comedic imitation of Justin Timberlake. Hey, the dawg can be kinda funny sometimes.
Most Creative Braids: Katie Stevens. Was it a simple side braid? Was it a french braid in the back? Discuss.
Biggest Hint of Unwarranted Smugness: Tim f-in Urban acting like it was ca-razy Seacrest suggested he had an off night!
Most I Wanna Wipe That Damn Smile Off Your F-In Face: Didi Benami. Seriously? It's okay to talk normal, honey. You are not a ventriloquist.
Best Surprise Accent: Orianti (?) I have never heard this girl's name before, so please forgive me if I have misspelled.
Most Likely to be a Politician: Michael "here for the people" Lynch. (Well, at least he's got a back-up gig for when his cheesy appeal wears off.)
Craziest Hair Accessory: Lacey Brown. Whoah! I think that thing had it's own area code.
Most Ridiculous Question: Seacrest to Ellen: "Is this bottom three worth the judge's save?"
[Reminder: This spot-on bottom three included Paige "it seems like I could give two s**ts if I'm here or not" Miles(?), Lacey "Depressing Billy Goat" Brown and that Urban kid. (I'm tired of wasting words on him.)]
Biggest Crock of S**t Answer: Ellen to Seacrest: "Yeesss?"
Even Bigger Crock of S**t Answer: Simon to Seacrest: "One of them is." [Seriously, Simon? It's bugging. Why do you keep insisting on keeping this Paige chick around, hinting that she's the next best thing? Two words for ya: Lil Rounds.]
Biggest Disappointment: Peter Brady being sent back to safety.
Performance that Caused My Eyebrows to Furrow In a Permanent State of Confusion: Keisha (is it?) Of which the topper was undoubtedly the Indian headdress. Yes, in fact, my eyebrows are still furrowed as I type these very words.


So where do you weigh in? Happy to see the billy goat go? Would you have liked to have just wiped all three out right there and then like me? How about poor Crystal Bowersox, who now has to constantly be ever so careful with her modesty? Do you have any superlatives that I didn't cover? Til next week my little leprechauns.

Read more...

Fantasia Sings Superstition -- And I'm Likin' It!

I may not have watched her season, but damn, I kinda wish I had. After looking at this clip of Fantasia's take on the Stevie Wonder classic, "Superstition," I realize what Siobhan Magnus' performance was missing last week - the grit. Let this serve as some inspiration to you season 9 kids. Take a risk. Give it your all. Have fun with it. If you crash and burn or if you make the audience rise to their feet, at least you weren't boring! You go Fantastic Burrito (copyright, my dad). You go.

(Give it a little bit, and watch how the audience gets into this! To the end where they can't wait to get on their feet.)

Read more...

Tim Urban: Get Out of My Life

Hey, can anyone tell me who went home on American Idol tonight? I know that's my job and all here, but you see, I'm not able to because I chucked my TV out the window and into my parking lot after Tim Urban's response to Seascrest's question.

Seacrest: Tim, if you could do it all over again after the judges' critiques, would you do it differently?


Tim Urban: You know, I obviously thought about that last night a lot (um, I doubt it), and I had so much fun (yeah, we got that) that no. I would not do it differently. (Aaannnd, goodbye to my flat screen.)

Okay, kids. Listen up. Elizabeth's number one pet peeve is the phrase: "I had fun." Like that is supposed to magically wipe away all of your suckiness. And I don't know if you're aware of this or not, but you are performing for an audience of 30 million people. Yeah, you got that? 30 million. You are not alone in your shower, living room, or wherever else it is legal for such suckiness to take place without so much as a "bleeding ear" citation. You are performing for me, the viewer. And guess what, I ain't havin' fun.

Oh yeah, and while I'm at it, repeat after me -- the judges are here to help me. Not hurt me. To listen to them would be wise. I shall no longer feel the need to assert my inexperience as knowledge superior to that of people who have been in the biz longer than I have been alive.

Okay. I'm done now. So again, please tell me it was Urban who went home. Yeah, Paige's "Against All Odds" had about as many notes off key as Big Mike's baby/baby momma's cameos (a lot), but at least she admitted that it "could have been better." (That is an understatement.) So please, America. He has already ruined my TV. Do not allow him to taint the American Idol "Top 10." (P.S. Remind me to not buy a ticket to that Idol summer tour!)

Read more...

Crystal Bowersox: Jams out to some Janis!

As last night's episode of American Idol proved to be exceptionally awful, let's relive the only moment I deem to be noteworthy, shall we? Crystal Bowersox and her magnificent take on Janis Joplin's "Me and Bobby McGee." This one's for you, Con!

Read more...

American Idol Top 12 (recap): Siobhan Magnus Gets it Rolling on Stones Night!

Here's something I thought I would never hear be uttered from Seacrest's lips: "Tim Urban fans. You're about to get your fix." FIX of WHAT?! And, I'm sorry, ... there are Tim Urban fans?! Um, okay. By the way, if you are in that 5 percentile, don't worry about voting for him. Because HE had fun, and that was all he was really worried about. (And that will be all the time I waste tonight on the crazy eyed Eric Stoltz look-a-like.)

As you can tell, I'm feeling nice and friendly tonight. So let me just go ahead and say, how about that Siobhan Magnus performance?! Dare I ask, is my Idol season 9 finally underway?! Because even though I had to wait over an hour tonight for the show to actually get moving (we'll ignore weeks here), while Siobhan was painting it black, she also managed to color Elizabeth happy!

Loved the combat boots. Loved the dress. Loved the combat boots with the dress. Loved that she is who she is. Loved that she made me for the first time, actually listen and really understand the words of the Rolling Stones classic. And yeah, that screamy note toward the end, I winced a bit. But that very last note was beautiful. "Best interpretation," Kara said. "Flashbacks of Adam Lambert!" And may I add, I loved the glassblower even more with those goofy glasses on, all the while, flashing an elegant smile. Way to go Siobhan. Way to go. By the way, did I mention how much I dug that outfit!?!

And speaking of the dynamo ladies tonight ... Crystal Bowersox does give me what I want! The tiny soft, unexpected inflections. The cute little part where she spoke about Mr. Jimmy ... the way she simply RAWKED it! So why the hell did the judges kinda ridicule her? Simon: "You can't think you have this in the bag." Rock solid Bowersox: "That hasn't once crossed my mind. But thank YOU for saying that." Well played, Crystal. Well played. (And did anyone else right away know that the peacock feather was there in memoriam of Lilly? ... I did.)

The other second half grouping who kept tonight's show afloat included Lee Dewyze, whose version of "Beast of Burden" I would like to download right now. I don't have a great deal more to say about it except I think the judges could have been a little nicer on him: "People won't remember it." Um, excuse me. I will! So suck it, Ellen. (Even if you are having your best night as far as sound bytes go.) Hey guys, I gotta support my Lee.

Hell, I even kinda enjoyed Paige-still don't know her last name's Honky Tonk Woman. And Aaron Kelly? Okay, guys. I'm not going to quite go there. The boy does good karaoke. That's all I gots to say about that little noodle. And oh yeah, he may have got himself a new greased up do, but he's still got the same ol' air humpin dance moves.

The rest? I think they can be summed up in a few sentences or less:
Michael Lynch: He is trying. But he doesn't have the talent for super stardom.

Didi Benami: Kinda scared me a bit. You know, the facials and all. A mixed bag of sorts - had some really good moments but had a lot of flat verses, sprinkled with some, "oops I forgot my lyrics" Brooke White moments.

Casey James: Got back to the soul, but I'm with Simon. It wasn't incredible. Randy: So he should use the stage more? Simon: Just be. a. star. (Amen Brother Cowell. Amen.) Oh yeah, I was only able to have these thoughts after I got over his mom being a dead-ringer for Peg Bundy.
I think this was the time I drifted off to re-watch my Adam Lambert's "Satisfaction" clip. Oh, look at that action. The crowd jamming. Paula dancing.

Oh, what's that? The maroon headed billy goat's up? Oh, I like "Ruby Tuesday!" Oh, she's sitting on the corner of the stage again? Churning her mic back and forth from her mouth? Stilli'mgonnamissyou? Guess that was her way of making it her own?

Sorry, got a little off track there.

Katie Stevens, a.k.a, the girl who answers the question, "Who is the lead singer of the Rolling Stones" with a question mark. Anyhoo, she chose a song I suggested a few weeks back, "Wild Horses." And she finally got some praise for, well, picking the right song. However, I did not choose this song for Stevens. I picked it for the girl she unjustifiably beat out last week, Ms. Lilly Scott. How freaking poetic. Now let's consider how much more Lilly could have done with it .... I'll wait.

Andrew Garcia: Andrew. Listen to me. I think the judges have given you an identity crisis. Stick to your guns. Get back to you. Don't question it. Rock it.
And now, the burning questions: So how did you feel about tonight? Were you only feeling the second half like me? What was your favorite Ellen funny tonight? I think mine was to Lacey: "You like to sit on the edge of things. Don't go to the Grand Canyon." Or maybe the "but not me" one to Casey. Simon had a good one tonight regarding Andrew to Kara: "Do you want him to come out with a tank?" Does Michael Lynch raid his wife's scarf closet? Do you think when Lacey was told she was over thinking it, that now she's thinking too much about over thinking it? Finally, who do you think will say bye bye tomorrow?

Read more...

Happy Birthday!

Believe it, Krissy Poo.  My Reality Bit is 1 year old.  Happy Birthday to us.  Happy Birthday to us.  Happy Birthday to u-us.  Happy Birthday to us.

Read more...

American Idol Finalists Revealed! Lambert, Epperly, Hall, Scott Eliminated. Along With My Idol Hopes and Dreams. ... sorta

(Our esteemed Top 12 ... Or is this what my nightmare looks like?  Discuss.)

This just in:  Fuzzy Mullet Boy, ... I really have to think a good 10 seconds or so before I can come up with their names .... Oh yes, Lilly Scott .... Katelyn Epperly (yes, that's the one), and oh let's see .... Todrick Hall went home last night on Idol.

Well, actually, this is kind of old news.  Reading some of the comments from my last post, though, I felt I needed to slap this one up here.  Given how long it took to remember who went home last night, I guess you could say, I'm not quite breaking out the Kleenex (as I once did for our beloved Allison Iraheta). 

Okay, okay, I'll admit.  I was a little saddened to see Lilly Scott go over Katie Stevens.  But then, before the silver-haired one even finished singing "I Fall to Pieces," I was already over it.  (I'm sure my mom begs to differ.  Apparently, she wants this stuff on wax.)  And yes, I felt perhaps a twinge of regret to see Katelyn Epperly's premature evacuation.  But then I remembered how stupid she was to choose the song "I Feel The Earth Move" for her one shot at superstardom, and I quickly didn't care if she was walking that plank.  And fuzzy mullet boy?  Well, let's just say, I am not worrrried worrried worrried that he's gone.  He would have had to get on the super expressway of confidence if we ever would have found him worthy of taking over Kris Allen's throne.  Todrick Hall?  Sure the gloved-one was more entertaining than most of these cats, but am I sweatin' it?  Nope.  I think the only real emotion I would have had last night is if my puppy actually did spill over my vino (which he came dangerously close to doing) and if Andrew Garcia did not get that last silver coveted chair of safety. 

Are you telling me to lighten up?  Do I need to get my American Idol season 9 mojo working?  Well give me something I can work with, dammit.  Until then, I will endure some more of Aaron Kelly's air-humping dance moves, Ellen thinking Tim Urban is the greatest thing since Portia, Kara rubbing up against Simon's sweater like it is the newest way to start fire,  and hmmm, what else, oh yeah - Randy giving unwarranted standing "o's" to make it look like we have some hot ones tonight(!).  But I digress.  Carry on, my Idol-Addicts.  Carry on.

Read more...

American Idol Top 8 Guys Perform: Mike Lynch and Andrew Garcia Will Keep Me Trudging On

(You rubbed me the right way, Andrew. Hang in there lil' camper.)

As I sit here today, I feel somewhat of an emptiness inside. I don't feel much need for hooting and hollering about the top 8 guys' performances last night on Idol -- despite the fact that many of the guys displayed marked improvement. But marked improvement from what, I ask? A stale bologne sandwich? Yes, I am in a state of flux. I'm pretty sure I have been let down week after week since Hollywood Week, but I'm also pretty sure Randy has already given a contestant a standing "O" this season(!?). And I'm sorry, was it my imagination, or did Kara DioGuardi actually cry last night?

Why didn't I feel the same? Alas, I will have to chalk these non-sensical waterworks up to stray dust bunnies from Simon's shirt (Lord knows she was nudged up close enough to it). (It's getting old Kara! Real old. And judging by the looks on Ellen's face, I'm pretty sure she concurs.) Even though Big Mike Lynch did have the best performance of the night, for me, it still lacked that magic I'm so desperately craving.


Sure, he picked the perfect song, Maxwell's "This Woman's Work." Sure, he gave a great vocal. And sure, I don't even have to say it, but we all know the personal connection he had to its lyrical meaning. Was it the somewhat cheesy ka-pow choreography he tends to do? I don't know. But I'm pretty sure come this time next year, I won't be posting Lynch's performance on my blog, telling the season 10 contestants, "This is how you do it Week 2, bitches."


Hell, the only other guy I really care to comment on is Andrew Garcia. Because I feel the judges' harsh criticisms were unwarranted. There I said it. Andrew's spin on X-Tina's "Genie in a Bottle" was the only performance I and my Idol companion last night, Stephanie, wanted to rewind. We both were turning it up, singing along, and dancing. Sure, we were each two vinos in, but isn't that what performing is all about? Getting the crowd into it? Having fun? As Stephanie so astutely pointed out, Andrew apparently can do no right. And I will admit, homeboy does have a serious lack of vocal range (and, I would have liked him to amp the chorus up the first time around rather than waiting til the end), but you gotta admit, he is more entertaining to watch than oh, I don't know, fuzzy mullet boy?


But as I feel like I have hit rock bottom of Idol season 9, without having even arrived at the big Kodak stage, I also wonder, a world without Idol? What would we do? Well, I'm sure there's a lot we could do ... but do we want that? I guess what I'm saying is that my heavy Idol heart isn't quite idle yet, and I will continue to trudge through the muck that is Aaron Kelly, Todrick Hall, and yes, even Katie Stevens, because I know not what else to do. Do you?

Read more...

Idol Top 8 Ladies Perform: Crystal Bowersox ... Are you My Only Hope? (Recap)

Well, the top 8 American Idol ladies sung their little hearts out last night (or did they?), and I, yet again, am left feeling underwhelmed. Once again, Crystal Bowersox was the redeeming factor of the night, and once again Katie Stevens failed to come out as someone who is confident in herself ("I chose this song because Randy said this and Ellen said that.") Oy vey. Do I need to buy a plane ticket to LA already and mentor these young lassies? Or, should I just save my pennies and stock up on some nice vinos? (I'm leaning toward the latter.)

Regardless, as I always have something to say, I give you my thoughts on last night.

Let me start out by putting a cap in the ass on my thoughts regarding Katie Stevens. I know the word "karaoke" is overused just like "artistry" and "pitchy" on this show, but Randy really was correct when he chose this word to describe Stevens' 8th rate performance of Kelly Clarkson's .... gee, what song of hers did she sing again? All I really remember was that she sang it F-L-A-T! I also remember Ellen's whack-a-doo critique: "You had the right song choice. But the words didn't suit you." Um, Ellen say what? Simon said: "You kinda sucked [long pause] the energy out." Wouldn't it have been great to have just left it at "You kinda sucked."?

But Katie begged us to vote for her, all cutesy, holding up her finger, miming "Vote 1." Okay, Katie. Just because I'm feeling a little loopy, let's say we did listen to your pleas, and robotically dialed 1. Let's say we did this the rest of the way through. You won. Congratulations. Now what? Bottom Line, sweetie. You ain't ready, honey child. And unless an Adam Lambert fairy (no pun intended) visits you at night and sprinkles some star dust on your sleepy little head, I don't see you being ready any time soon. Aaand, moving on. Let's discuss someone who does know thyself, albeit, a bit funny.

Siobhan "the unlikely character" Magnus Connects. Even though Simon didn't think so, I have to say Siobhan was a small highlight of the night. Singing "House of the Rising Sun," Siobhan had the right formula. Personal meaning of the song (her Carlos Santana-esque dad used to sing it to her, aw) + Fearless Nature (I don't know if she is just clueless and doesn't care or is simply genius, but what does it matter?) + acoustic start = an Idol Moment. My one critique of Siobhan's performance didn't have anything to do with her ... but something with that other judge. After Kara sung her praises, Simon dissed her. After Simon dissed her, Kara did an about-face, interjecting "I don't know what kind of artist she is." Well, I don't know what kind of judge you are, Kara! What are YOU trying to say? How 'bout them apples?! (I got your back, Siobhan.)

Read more »

Read more...

Holy Crystal Bowersox: Original Music by the Season 9 Favorite "Farmer's Daughter"

Remember when Simon Cowell told Crystal "Mamasox" Bowersox that they needed the contestants to be more original, and the AI virgin Bowersox innocently responded, "but they don't let us do original songs on the show." (Aw.) Well at the time, I kinda wanted to hear some of that original work of hers. So without further ado, here is an original Bowersox track, "Farmer's Daughter."

Yes, she drops the f-bomb in it (which I don't think Mr. Ken Warwick would like too much), but man is it good. Wish they did let original tracks on the show ... I think it would spice things up a bit, don't you? Go, Crystal. Hope you're feeling better!

Read more...

Adam Lambert's Sleepwalker Performance on Jay Leno

In case you missed it (I did as I boycot Jay Leno), here is Adam Lambert's dynamic "Sleepwalker" performance ... maybe a little too much eye makeup, but I'm lovin' the big hair. Yummo.

(By the way, is this turning into an Adam Lambert video site or what? C'est la vie!) ;-)

Read more...

American Idol Season 9 Results Night: Twitter Style (L8ter Sellers, Park, Headband Vaughn and Puffy Dress Girl)

(For s**ts and giggles, enjoy the above video. Hey, I got your back.)

Breakin' tonight down sweet and simple ... I don't tweet (yet?), but here we go, Twitter style. (I gots to get to bed early tonight, y'all. Promise for more like this though.)

Okay, seriously, Kara is stiched to Simon. (Memo to Kara: You are not nor will you ever be Paula.)

Oh, Gokey. (Hey, I guess I'll take it.)
Could the group intro number be any more pre-recorded?!

Didi is a wet noodle in the opening. Oh poor Alex Lambert in this!! The solos sounded robotic! This is like a mickey mouse / west side story mix! I'm so confused.

Sweet Casey James is wearing the pony tonight. So much better than the Mary Kate/Ashely Olsen hair.

Beautiful bottem end John Park first one out!! One of my predictions right. (By the way, they are Park, Sellers, Stevens and Brown.) No more lullaby time compliments John Park!

Seacrest sounds nasal-ie. Yes, Mullet Boy is safe!!! (humbled as ever.)

Dewayne Wade, I mean, Jermaine Sellers is against Andrew Garcia. Gee, I wonder who will go home ...
soon to be 2 for 2!

Oh shoot, Jermaine. You are snooze-a-licious. But I'll go out and get me a onesie. (It actually sounds quite comfy.) (2 for 2 now. Stevens is going to be my tough one ...)

Okay, I'm sorry. But I do NOT like Gokey's song. Actually, Danny, I think your best days were behind you .. courtesy American Idol, season 8.

Mmmm K. Gettin' a little sick of Ms. Paige's eye rolls.

Darn. Katie's safe. My perfect predictions just got shot. It's Michelle Delamor. Pretty curl family girl. Not sad to see her go. Nor do I think I would have even been sad if it was Didi. I'm so emotionally uninvested right now ... Bah. But Delamor was right when she said, I think I got too wrapped up in doing everything right that I forgot to just perform. (Take note remaining contestants!!!)

Mamasox is safe (of course). She was compared to Kelly Clarkson? Does she even know who Kelly Clarkson is?

Oh sweet mother. Haeley is going back to Pooter! (Ha!) There is justice (or at least semi-justice .. Billy Goat is still here). Haeley was kinda sad? I guess? Did this whole experience even phase her? Seriously, I'm sorry Angela Martin. I'm sorry.

Read more...

American Idol: Top 10 Girls Perform (Recap) Crystal Bowersox is the LIGHT!

Well, the Top 10 ladies sang last night, and the Idol stage that was once was lost has now been found. What once was dark, has now been brightened because lo and behold everyone, Crystal Bowersox "IS The Light!" Well, at least according to Randy, and well, me. With a few others twinkling in the backdrop last night, season 9 is finally gaining a little (and I stress little) much needed momentum, and although it has been extremely slow in the making, at least we are headed in the right direction.

Crystal. Our Savior. Our Light. Our ... Truth? (Really, Randy?) Going first, Crystal set the bar extremely high with her flawless, soulful ("mama, I'm comin' home!") rendition of Creedence Clearwater's "As Long as I Can See the Light." It, like Crystal, was rock solid. And good for you, Simon, for pointing out that she didn't play the sympathy card. No, Mamsox, who had just been hospitalized for diabetes complications is one "tough cookie." Not to mention, she didn't even bother correcting the Kara-ism ("You Oughtta Know"), which, again, attests to her calm, grounded nature.

Haeley has to follow THAT? Good luck, girl. All the cute flower headbands in the world ain't gonna save you now. (And I was wrong. It wasn't purple. In fact, it looked as if a giant red poinsettia had sprouted from her head.) If there is any justice in the world, we will see Haeley go tonight, but I ain't bankin' on her returning to her headband making day job any time soon. And I'm sorry, but Kara telling her that she needs a year to hone her voice "muscle" was bogus. Why'd ya put her through then this year over Angela "go get em tiger" Martin?!

And speaking of ones who should go home, Lacey Brown (a victim of the shoulder pad movement), bounced around like shiny happy people, singing again like a goat. (Unlike Headband Vaughn, I do think Billy Goat Brown will be sent packing tonight to return to her day job of refurbishing antiques.)

And my gut is also telling me it's the end of the road for Katie Stevens. Kinda surprising because I really thought she would go far. But Katie's problem is she doesn't know herself. When Simon tells you to do some research, Katie, I think that perhaps involves a little more soul searching -- thinking about who you are as a person -- not actual book research. Something tells me Katie got on her laptop as soon as she got the chance and googled, "what song can Katie Stevens sing that will make her more young and hip and more likable to Simon?" Good luck with that, Katie. You couldn't name a singer who you like under 20 because I think you actually have an old soul and prefer musicians in the vein of Etta James. So if you do make it through tonight, listen to Elizabeth. Take your Etta, own it, and find a way to youth it up. It CAN be done. But you have to know who you are first. (Probably tough to do at 17, but then again, how old was Allison Iraheta? Just sayin.') Okay, I'm done being Mama Idol Hen now.

Speaking of Identity Problems ... Didi Benami thought she could take on a Bill Withers classic, "Lean on Me" and boy was it the wrong choice. You see, Didi is a perfectionist. Taking her perfect little notes on the guys the night before ... watching the judges' body language ... observing ... being perfect. Yes, this may be smart. But it also kinda bugs me. Because I don't feel like she actually connected with the soulfulness of "Lean on Me." It's like if she sang "Redemption Song," I feel as though she would sport a Bob Marley shirt just to show us how "real" she is.

After the judges noticed her lack of authenticity, the emotionally unstable songstress couldn't even reply for fear of bursting out in tears. Come on, Didi. Thicken that skin. You kind of remind me of myself in a sad little way. As my tough advertising teacher once told me, it's a dog eat dog world. Toughen up and learn to accept criticism (which is probably foreign to you). P.S., I didn't like that "raise my star power comment." It reeks of entitlement. Okay. And now I'm done being Mama Idol Hen.

Boy did I get off track. What about those twinkling stars?

Well if I had to give a second place prize tonight, it would go to Lilly Scott, who competently held her own on Sam Cook's "A Change is Gonna Come." My problem with her (come on, you know I always have some kind of hang up) is that she tries to do a little too much. Simon said she over sang the middle, but I think she did the whole thing a bit. I would like to see her be a little more simplistic. Maybe even try a unique take on "Wild Horses," no?

Siobhan Magnus Closes the Show. Although it was obvious Mean Man Cowell was poking fun at the clueless "funny little thing," Siobhan's end note on Aretha's "Think" got respect. I don't know if I bought into all that hype, but what I do like about Magnus is that she is fearless. And that, my friends, is a good thing. In fact, I would say she is the most fearless out of the whole coop (guys and girls) and having that in her back pocket makes her a strong contender indeed.

To wrap it up, Katelyn Epperly's voice I love. But not sure if I loved her marshmallow. And not sure what Vera Wang(!) was doing in the audience? Also, I'm pretty sure Randy dissed Kelly Clarkson, telling Paige Miles, "you got the big voice so that song didn't work for you. But it worked for Kelly." (For shame, Mr. Jackson. For shame.) Lastly, Simon said at the end that Crystal was the stand out. (Duh.) But did anyone else notice she wasn't even there at end? I really hope she is okay!! Oh yeah, who do you think will go tonight. (Still so much fat to trim ...)

Read more...

American Idol: Top 10 Guys Take The Stage ... I Still Await Something To Happen (Recap)

Last night, our, I mean "the" (would you want to claim them?) "top" 10 guys took to the American Idol stage, "performed" and man, was it another doozy. A semi-improved doozy. But a doozy nonetheless. (It's kind of fun saying doozy.) Anyhoo, this morning, my friend, Pat, asked me what Andrew Garcia sang last night. I couldn't recall. Um, wasn't he someone I was super excited about this season? Now ask me what Adam Lambert sang at any point in time last season. Even what hairstyle he sported or whether he wore nail polish ... I could tell ya. Somewhere, somehow, at some point in time ... something has gone woefully askew. (There's a word Ellen. I love ya, but you gotta give me something more than "great" and "pushed.")

Really though. Where's the passion? Where's the fun? Where's the STAR power?

I don't even know if I can blame it on the contestants; the judges hand-picked these sad sacks after all. Not to mention, the dawg, E and Simon now seemed to have sucked out all the fun, sending so many mixed messages, leaving people like Todrick Hall asking point-blank, "What should I sing?" (Side note: Could you see Adam asking this question? I'm just sayin.') I mean, did you see how Lee Dewyze stood after facing the firing squad?! He was frozen and looked lifeless! Well, everything except his ever moving watery eyes (does that guy have a permanent case of pink eye or what?). And yes, I realize I left Kara out of the aforementioned list of judges because believe it or not, she is one of the few highlights for me this season. (Telling Casey that he took two steps back with his busy performance of Gavin Degraw's "I Don't Wanna Be." Bravo, Kara. Bravo.)
What is going on here? Kara giving solid critiques? Andrew Garcia drowning fast? Underdogs like Dewyze swooping in and taking my top Garcia spot in a week's time? But, I suppose that is what is making this season great interesting. Because right now, what is becoming evident to me this season (besides its overall depressing nature), is that this really does seem to be anyone's game (well, maybe not Jermaine Sellers' - my pick for elimination). (And oh yeah, the boy who will put you to sleep at the drop of a note, John Park .. what have you done Shania?) (And let us not forget, good ol' Haeley Vaughn. Bets on what color her headband flower is tonight! I'm feeling purple!)
In a season that is taking me on a bit of a roller coaster ride (spiraling mostly in the downward direction), I give you what I do know at the present moment:

Read more »

Read more...

Crystal Bowersox Sick: Guys to Perform Tonight Instead

Change of Idol plans tonight: The guys will perform instead of our ladies. Apparently, Crystal "Mamasox" Bowersox is sick, so they had to pull a last minute switcher-oo. By all means, if our Lady Sox is sick, let's wait! She is one of the few that can actually sing! So I want her in peak condition.

I just wonder if those boys will try and use this as an excuse ... I can already hear Jermaine Sellers, "I wasn't ready because I had to go on a night earlier than I planned." (Of course this is all speculation, but don't dare throw MamaSox under the bus, Jermaine!)

Get better Crystal! (We need you!!)

Read more...

My Reality Bit Is Getting A Face Lift!

Yes, you are at the right place.  My Reality Bit is getting a makeover to better serve you. (Plus, she just wanted to stay fresh!) Hope you like and pardon while she undergoes her plastic surgery. Unlike Heidi, we don't expect to do too many procedures, so bear with us! Thanks, Elizabeth

Read more...

Look-A-Like of the Week!

She may not know what a dark horse is, but "funny little thing" Siobhan Magnus (American Idol season 9 contestant) sure does look a lot like Doctor Who's Billie Piper, doesn't she?

Read more...

Featured Video of the Week!

Read more...