American Idol Results Night (Recap): Season 8 Is a Breath of Fresh Air While Season 9 Reeks of Day Old Trash

Oh where to begin. We had our first American Idol season 9 Results Show tonight, and I must say, I enjoyed it more than the past two performance nights. Not because I got to see a smug Ashley Rodriguez go home (although that was quite nice), but because there were two refreshing appearances by our season 8 vets, Allison Iraheta and Kris Allen. But then again, realizing they were only there for a fleeting moment, ditching me soon again with the likes of what's-her-name-Miles and Tim/John/Alex Urban shot me right back to reality, leaving me no choice but to finish my bottle of $4 wine. If I may, I would like to present to you the ebbs and flows of my Idol Results Show experience.

Opening Song Sequence Say What?: First of all, a few things wrong with the opening song sequence: 1) Do you think if Mamsox had a thought bubble, it would have read: What the hell am I doing here singing this cheesy a** song alongside a girl who owns every flower headband from Forever 21? 2) Is there a quota American Idol has to meet before the end of season 9 for how many times "American Boy" needs to be sung? And 3) Might it have been a tad bit awkward for the 12 males in the group to be singing, "will you be my American boy." Just a thought.

Janell Goes Home Say What?: Something is wrong with America. Janell Wheeler is the first one out?! Let us please recall her "House of the Rising Sun" audition. Her "American Boy" Hollywood Week audition! Let's also recall Haeley's m-f-ing yelling! Oh em gee. I didn't think I could be more ticked at season 9, but now the steam is really rolling out my ears.

Oh, but here comes Allison Iraheta, and suddenly Janell is just a distant memory. Yes, it is true. As soon as Allison appeared in her fabulous black dress and lacy leggings, I sat on the edge of my ottoman, about a foot away from my TV, listening to her singing "Scars" with what I'm sure was the dumbest grin on my face, seriously looking at her as if I was this proud mama Idol hen. Well ... I AM proud of her. I can only hope some of her magnificence rubs off on those girls who really did sit a foot away from her. True, Allison may have screamed a little on her "exit interview" and she may have suddenly even adopted a bit of a gangsta accent, but pay no mind. I love you Ally Cat!

Ashely Rodriguez. Didi? Ashley Rodriguez. Didi? AND, back to the voting results. Ashley Rodriguez stood between Chrystal and Didi, looked up, and thought, well -- I'm screwed. (That's what ya get for being a Jordin Sparks wannabe!) Sianara sista! But then, Didi suddenly seemed to become paralyzed and looked very awkward standing there next to Rodriguez with a hint of entitlement on her face. All of a sudden, I wanted Didi to go! But then I became glad again when Ashley actually did get the boot because man, she got some attitude on her didn't she? Ryan: What are you going to do? Bitch-face: "Well, I'm gonna sing a song right now." Ryan: Seriously, what would you like to say? Bitch-face: "I wanna say thank you," (swiveling her neck around like her head was about to disembark and shoot off into outerspace). Um, something makes me not wanna believe that thank you. I told you that girl rubbed me the wrong way. I think Ashley overcompensated her anger with some mad (not the good kind) singing, but I was too busy checking and triple-checking my dead-bolts in case Ms. Rodriguez has been reading my blog. Hey, you're just trying to be happy?! I'm just trying to be safe!

And then, another moment of panic creeped in ... give me an f-in break! Joe Munoz is going home and Peter Brady (aka, Tim Urban) (shout-out to you, Connie) is SAFE?! Seriously, can we just end this freaking show now!?

Oh, and I'm over it again, because we have another season 8 vet to soothe me. Kris Allen, who was on the ground in Haiti (not to be confused with him flying around in circles above Haiti) came on and ripped some "Let it Be." All jokes aside, man did I get some chills. The song. The voice. The mini montage of Kris holding and playing with Haitian kids. Pa-lease. Idol season 8 is over. I'm left with Headband Vaughn. There's only so much Elizabeth's heart can take. Let it be. Let it be. Sigh.

I will say that the only thing America did get right tonight was keeping Alex Lambert over Tyler Grady. Oh boo hoo, Tyler. The judges waited until last night to finally tell you that you are and have always been a lame copy-cat? Cry me a river. Way to poop on yourself when you've already had a leaky diaper.

So what did you think? Did America get it right? Do you care? Did you feel no remorse for Tyler or did seeing him in his spa robe, tennis socks and boots make you like him for a fleeting second? Would you rather have seen Katie Stevens go bye bye or, once again, do you care? Better yet, let's talk about how fabulous Allison and Kris were. Oh, season 8.

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American Idol: Reminicin' on the Good Ol' Days of Season 8

Tonight Allison Iraheta will grace the Idol stage ... again! Ah, the good ol' days of season 8. A clip of our beloved red head's performance this time last year. My, how the bar has lowered. Show these season 9 peeps how it's done, girl! In the meantime, my predictions for who goes home tonight? Hmm ... so many to choose from. How 'bout some Paige Miles, Haeley Vaughn (one can only hope!), John Park and Jermaine Sellers. We shall see. I'm so emotionally detached at this point, they can try and drag the suspense out for an hour, I'm only watchin for the rocker!

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Kara DioGuardi Sings "Terrified" and I'm Digging It.

Wow. Either I'm riding the little high I had from Kara's endearing moment last night, or somebody has been slipping me some crazy juice in my coffee, but I found myself doing a little mid-afternoon cruising for Kara DioGuardi YouTube clips. Well really, I just liked Didi Benami's Hollywood Week "Terrified" audition so much that I wanted to learn more about the song. It kind of gave me a different perspective on Kara. Now why can't she bring this confidence and skill to her judge's seat?

(If you have problems pulling up the video, click here.)

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American Idol Top 12 Guys Perform! Thank You, Lord, For Casey James. (Recap.)

Well we started off tonight's episode of American Idol with Randy telling the guys, "Yo, the girls blew it away last night." Um, they did? Where was I for that dynamite? Now while I can't say that the Top 12 Guys fared a whole lot better as a whole, I will say that the two shining stars of the night (along with a few others who displayed some twinkle potential) has me thinking that Simon might want to rethink his early prediction that a female will take the Idol crown this year. Here is my run-down, ranking the Top 12 Guys from best to worst. Full recap here, so feel free to skip around to your faves.

1. Casey James: ("Heaven") It's funny because earlier today, I thought Casey James would be the one to watch for tonight. (Seriously! I did.) I guess I started thinking about him a week and a half ago when my dad of all people told me that he is the most excited about this year's singers because of Casey James. First of all, no, my dad is not talking about the Casey James that pops up when you google the name "Casey James" (Warning: Do not do this at work); second of all, I didn't know my dad even watched Idol. Well in the words of Randy, dad, good lookin' out!

Casey James is unique. He has strength in his voice. He's obviously got the look. And he has that indescribable "X" factor. What I have always liked about Casey is that he seems to have risen to the occasion -- from his degrading audition when Kara and Posh basically made him strip, to the bluesy Hollywood Week jam that seriously put him on the radar, to now showing us that he is not a one-trick pony, giving us variety with a Brian Adams' song choice. Bonus points for maintaining the charm and concentration while "the cougar" swayed.

2. Lee Dewyze: At first I was distracted trying to decipher the words on his tee-shirt. But then my attention immediately snapped to his guitar and the unexpected choice to use it in a song like "Chasing Cars." And it paid because that slow strumming buildup in the beginning started my chills, which became full blown once he hit the chorus.
My high came to a bit of a halt though when the tone deaf judges started in. Ellen: You pushed. (Third time she has used that verb.) Kara: You should sing "Bad Company." WTF? Lee, please listen to the only judge who apparently has ears (Simon) and do more of a David Cook vibe if you need to follow in some one's footsteps. But I say, keep on being your own great humble self. (Seriously, how cute was his tear up "This is the best moment of my life" moment?)

3. Andrew Garcia: Why did the band have to get in on his acoustic action? Even though the whole thing was just, well, off, I'm not ready to disown him. He gets the third slot for a risky song choice ("Sugar We're Going Down Swinging") and I'm still riding the "Straight Up" high. But you do get a disapproving side eye from Elizabeth, Andrew. I will leave it at that.

4. Joe Munoz: Pleasant little surprise with Jason Mraz's "You and I." As Ellen pointed out, he seemed very comfortable and so I'll overlook the gay ass scarf he decided to don and will give him two fist pumps for his first night out.

5. Todrick Hall: ("Since You Been Gone" ... kind of) Hall opened and after his unidentifiable version of the Kelly Clarkson hit song, I thought well at least this is already more exciting than the girls' night. Although the judges didn't care for what Hall did, I liked that he came up with the arrangement because he "heard it in his head." I give him an "A" for creativity effort. (Are you taking notes Ashley Rodriguez?)

6. Alex Lambert: ("It's a Wonderful World") Is it just me, or did Alex Lambert steal Elliott Yamin's voice box? Only other thing I will mention about Lambert is that he needs some serious work on his confidence and awkward stage presence. He gets the number 6 slot though because I, much like the dawg, enjoy his rich tonal voice quality.

7. Aaron Kelly - Well this little noodle is just a bundle of nerves. I was worried he would forget his words again, but alas he didn't. He did justice to Rascal Flatts I suppose, but all I really wanna say is that he is just the cutest little wutest little nicest fella in the world isn't he? Yes he is.

8. Michael Lynch - ("This Love") I keep thinking I should see Michael Lynch as a glorified singer at a Caribbean resort. Not a contestant on my Idol stage. I would say go home to your baby and your baby mama, Michael, but your personality will keep you around 'til the Top 10, so I'll tolerate the baby package one. last. time. (Oh. Em. Gee. Will the madness ever end?)


9 - 12. Take your pick for the order. Any order will do.

Tim Urban - ("Apologize") What I will remember most about this Zac Efron poser's segment is that we finally got to see the enigma that is Ken Warwick (who knew he uses words like "fancy"?). Kara felt he was "buried under the beat." Take a cue from the Jersey Shore kids, Tim, and beat up that beat! (Fist pump!)

Jermaine Sellers - More likable now because he has vowed to no longer throw bands under buses. That one highlight aside, Sellers was either too quiet or too whiny with no happy middle. And I'm pretty sure "shorty" is not in the original arrangement of "Get Here." By the way, did he say "stanky leg" to Simon? And if so, what does it mean to have a stanky leg?

Tyler Grady - After the first 4 (only good) seconds, I began feeling like I had traveled to an uncomfortable talent show. Thankfully, all of the judges recognized Grady's lack of authenticity (Kara's comment was particularly noteworthy: "I feel like you got Jim Morrison posters all up over your walls."). Nice one K-K. (Yes, that is my new pet name for her.) (Side note: I don't think Jim Morrison's first reply to the judges would have contained the word "mall" in it. I'm just sayin.')

John Park: We opened by learning that Shania was the best part of Park's Idol experience thus far. That little Shania package was funny! It was lively! "You have a beautiful bottom end." "Marry me, Shania." "It was the proudest moment of my life." All good stuff. And then we got to his performance. "God Bless The Child." Boy. What a fun ruiner. Snooze ALERT!!!

What did you think of our men? Better than the girls? How would you rank our gents? Would you put Garcia lower and think I should just get over it already? Are you ready to emotionally disengage yourself from season 9 yet? Did you like Jermaine's coat tails? How about Casey James' hairstyle? I like it better in a pony. Or down. Or straight. Or on my face. Oh, sorry. Need to go to bed now. Sweet dreams indeed.

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American Idol, Season 9: Top 12 Girls Perform. Um, yeah. Bowersox Rocks While (almost) the Rest Flail.

Well, folks, if we took 10 steps forward the first night of Hollywood Week, we took 99 steps back tonight as our "Top" 12 girls "performed." Hey, does anyone know of any funerals going on, because I'm sure they would have been more uplifting than this depressing and tragic episode I endured tonight. Too harsh? Well, do you wanna relive Haley Vaughn's "I Wanna Hold Your Hand"? How 'bout Lacey Brown's "Landslide"? Yeah. Didn't think so.

Best performance of the night: Kara DioGuardi? Either I'm still sippin' on some crazy juice, or Kara has become likable. Was it just me, or did she actually give some really good advice and have relevant opinions tonight? Sadly, Ellen (or "E") didn't offer too much, so here's looking at you, K! Keep up the good work ... I won't hold me breath. Okay, okay. Love you, K. Girl power?

Worst: Um, everyone except Mamasox, Didi Benami and Katelyn Epperly (sprinkled even with a little Siobhan Magnus?)? A quick run-down of the sad sights tonight:

Paige Miles: Poor thing had to go first even after no screen time, which may have been a good thing given her winded "It's Alright Now" performance. Paige referred to pee and snot during her first impression (1st wrong); she couldn't complete one note (2nd wrong); and the judges praised this shiz? (ultimate wrong).

Ashley Rodriguez: "Happy" (Leona Lewis) -- Let me ask a couple of questions: Who is Ashley Rodriguez? What originality does she bring to the table? Seriously. Someone please clue me in. Because all I have seen so far is a Jordin Sparks wannabe. Been there, done that, Ash. Tell ya what. Here's a dollar. Go to the store and buy yourself an identity. In fact, stay there a while and let's see if we can usher in Angela Martin to fill your spot. Who's with me?

Janell Wheeler: "What About Love" (Heart) -- Oh, Janell. Where did we go wrong? I would have to say it was when you started showing a lack of confidence right before the final judges' Hollywood Week deliberation. First of all, don't be trying to steal Allison Iraheta's Top 12 Girl "Heart Thunder." Mmm, k? Second of all, know your strengths: Your guitar and the tender inflections in your voice. You got it girl. Don't hide, and please buck up. You're better than you know.

Haley Vaughn: Incoming!!! We have a hot, Sanjaya-esque, country mess on our hands (if such a package is even possible). Somehow, Haley manages to fulfill all of those adjectives and somehow, she has managed to break the Top 12. (Somewhere, there is Angela Martin, petting her Haley Vaughn voo-doo doll, waiting for the right moment to save us all from this God-awful screeching. One pin prick to the jugular, Angela. Please!!")

Lacey Brown: If you rewind and look at the guys in the "dog pound" pit, they look like they're half asleep, and I'm right there with them. I mean, whelapso #DJS adlfjwoijgw. Oh sorry. Just drifted off there thinking about her depressing "Landslide" performance. I'm still pulling for you, Lacey. Get over those nerves, girl! And hey, don't disagree with the Sime. It does not bode well for you and your pretty eyes.

Can I just skip over Michelle Delamor (imitation "Falling" -- again, sorry Angela), and let's see who else ... Katie Stevens (wasted pimp slot, "Feeling Good" -- step to the Glambert? How dare you!)?

Let's get on to the good .. and slim pickins it was!Lily Scott: "Random" Beatles song ("Fixing a Hole") (check). Guitar (check). Cool earrings (check). A hint of sassy attitude (to Ryan: "I don't want to make you feel short.") (check). Wait, that last one is not a good thing. (Scents of Megan Joy filling my nostrils.) Anyhoo, Lily at least showed originality, but I didn't fall off my couch. I did, however, get a twinge of excitement over her tonight (even if that meant scaling over the wall of low expectations). Simon says he needs more "star power" from her, and I agree.

Didi Benami: "Way I Am" She always gives heartfelt performances and tonight was no different. And I'm glad she mentioned that it might be a good thing to tone down her waterworks as I fear for her emotional stability. Randy and Simon still weren't impressed and I do have to agree with Simon a bit when he said that a few of them are trying to sound too much like Adele and Duffy. Randy needs more "oomph." Easy there fellas. Let's take what we can get. (Sigh.)

Two Surprises of the Night: Siobhan Magnus ("Wicked Game") and Katelyn Epperly ("Oh Darlin'"). Both displayed strong voices and memorability. (Even if this means Epperly looking like a freshly blow-dried poodle who got into her master's red lipstick and Siobhan giving dead-pan interview answers. Does she suffer from a little Jason-Castro-itis I fear?)

Can we just get on with it already? Chrystal Mamasox Bowersox. Giving us all hope! (Wait, that was Danny Gokey last year, according to Kara. Sorry.) Chrystal sang Alanis ("One Hand in My Pocket") and did not fear to bust out the instruments (although I think her harmonica playing needs a little work. But who am I to judge?) What I liked most about Chrystal tonight, though, was the maturity level she displayed. After Simon told her a million people on the subway are like her (I beg to differ, Mr. Cowell!) and suggested she be more original by doing Bowie, Chrystal seemed to genuinely take it all in, digest it, and agreed. She also has never really watched much Idol before this, which seems about right. Kara said she was good, but knows she can be "great." Here here, Kara. I'm sorry. I mean, Ms. DioGuardi. (You go, girls!)

So what did you think of tonight? Did you consider changing the channel mid-way through to watch some figure skating like me? Who shouldn't quit their day job (even if that day job is a glass blowing apprentice?)? Did you think Kara was on top of her game tonight? Are we living in some alternate universe? Because seriously, what the hell happened to our ladies tonight? You better bring it boys! Or Elizabeth just might lose her will to live.

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American Idol, Season 9: Top 12 Girls Sing Tonight! Who Will Have Their Idol Moment?

It was this time last year that Allison Iraheta made her mark on America with her chill-worthy performance of Heart's "Alone." Will one of our obscure season 9 ladies come out of hiding and do the same thing tonight? Of course I will be anticipating Chrystal Bowserox, Didi Benami and Janell Wheeler, but will a dark horse (much like Allison was) give these ladies a run for their American Idol crown? One can hope! That's what makes this show so darn exciting. It's all about the right song choice, the passion and the originality.

Who's hungriest? Who will have their Idol moment tonight? Who are your ones to watch? And who are you most excited for?

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Ali is the Next Bachelorette ... Dammit.

At firt I liked her.  Then I hated her.  I still don't like her ... despite the promos we see for tonight's episode of The Bachelor: The Women Tell All in which Ali apologizes for her catty behavior toward Vienna.  Regardless, Reality Steve (who has predicted this season's winner before the airing of the first episode) confirms that Ali will indeed be the next Bachelorette.  Boo Hoo!!! 

Will you watch?  And will you be hoping the sheisty little Ali finds love?  Give me Gia any day I say!

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Look-A-Like Monday!: Idol's Mary Powers and Alanna Ubach

She might need to swarm around innocent teenagers trying to make their big Hollywood break like a crazy person, or dye her hair in patches of hot pink and rip out a few chunks of that hair while she's at it, but doesn't actress Alanna Ubach ("Legally Blonde") bear a striking resemblance to American Idol season 9's Mary Powers?

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Perez Hilton to Replace Simon Cowell?

 

In a press call last week, Simon Cowell revealed he thought that blogger Perez Hilton would make a good candidate to replace him next season.  Denouncing Howard Stern and Madonna as potential judges, Cowell speculated that Hilton would be a nice fit because he's "funny, has good taste in music," and something I did not know, has his own music label.


But me thinks two statements Cowell made are wrong, causing me to question his judgment: 1)  He would like to find a Taylor Swift because she's "relevant."  Well if relevant means tone def, then by all means, find you a T. Swift.  2) He "likes" Lady GaGa because she's "smart."  Well if smart means wearing cones for shoulder pads and zippers for eye patches, then get you a GaGa!   But another snippet I found to be interesting was that he predicts a lady for a season 9 win, indicating that most of the males seem to be on the same level this season, which might cause them to cancel each other out.


I'm sure Perez is elated with this news, but are you?  Who do you think would be a good Simon successor?

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American Idol Season 9: Top 24 Contestants Are Announced. (I'm Left Scratching My Head.)

Well, Idol-Addicts, our Season 9 Top 24 have been announced, and in true American Idol style, I have been left annoyed, even a bit angry, at the show's producers. But also in true Idol style, I find myself looking forward to next Tuesday when we get the chance to see the ladies, particularly Chrystal "Mamasox" Bowersox and Didi Benami, perform. Nonetheless, this recap installment I have decided has been brought to you by "WTF Productions" because some things I just cannot ignore.


WTF Moment #1: Angela Martin gets shafted?! Tumultuous back story aside, this girl seriously had the chops to be a top 10 contender. True, her Mary J. Blige "I'm Going Down" cover may have sounded a bit copy-cat, but she was at least on-key (unlike a certain flower-wearing contestant who often has an unusual sparkly face). Furthermore, the fact that Angela has the right attitude, facing adversity with grace and a fighter spirit, makes her all the more Idol-worthy (unlike a certain other contestant who tried to throw "the band under the bus").


Not only that, but did Kara seriously have to make her "share" a seat because I'm pretty sure it was Kara's entire arse plopped in that chair, leaving poor Angela left to sit on its arm. But don't worry, Angela, Kara will "remember you. ... Forever." (Creepy.) And Ryan will hold you to that promise to look back at this producer cruelty with fondness. Just don't forget to look in his eyes when vowing this to him. (Double creepy.)

WTF Moment #2: This moment involves that certain flower-wearing, sparkly face contestant, you know who I'm talking about ... why it's none other than Haley "I can't sing a note on key to save my life" Vaughn. But Simon and the producers like me because even though they describe me as "annoying," I'm super cute talented. Seriously? I would like to conduct an experiment wherein we switch the Hollywood Week wardrobes (hair flower and all) of Angela Martin and Haley Vaughn, and then see who makes it through. I'm just sayin'.


WTF Moment #3: Seriously, what happened to Jermaine Purifoy and why has he all of a sudden been replaced by that other Jermaine (Sellers)? Purifoy demonstrated vocal superiority to Sellers, yet Sellers is the one they pick even after he criticized the band for his not too perfect "I'm Yours" performance (and yes, I realize I made the mistake in the last post noting he sang "Man in the Mirror." Please forgive thee.). Anyhoo, Sellers and Todrick Hall seem to both be filling the same position -- resident goofball. I could possibly stomach one of these (after all, in all that is holy, I did have to suffer through the joke that was Norman Gentle last season), but do we really need two of these guys? Oy veh. Sorry, Purifoy.


WTF Moment #4: Not too surprisingly, Janell Wheeler cracked the Top 24, but her pass was accompanied with a sour taste in my mouth as soon as we saw that during her original audition, Simon quipped, "Based on your voice, I would not have put you through." So I guess that means he was handing out golden tickets based on whether or not you sported Daisy Dukes that day in Orlando. Huh? I thought Janell has always demonstrated a solid, unique voice. Prove him wrong, girl. Just like Didi has!


And while I'm on my WTF moments, has anyone seen Mallorie Haley or know of her whereabouts? I did not see one trace of her during the whole Hollywood Week! ANYHOO, here is a quick run-down of some of the others who made it through along with my visceral thoughts on them (does visceral work there? I'm still channeling my Paula Abdul of seasons' past).

Lilly Scott: Caught our eye immediately with her peacock earrings and "Lullaby of Birdland" but went off track with "Rich Girl." Props to her for acknowledging this, but I'm getting a Megan Joy vibe from Lilly. She is going to have to be extremely cautious with her song choices and dare I say it (if she is like Megan Joy), her attitude as well. And I sense a chumminess between her and who I'm looking at to be our saving grace this year ...


Chrystal Bowersox: Randy actually had a moment nicknaming her "Mama Sox" -- a name which she endearingly embraced. And speaking of moments, how cute was Chrystal when she was told Idol actually had a fan base of 30 million (not 3 million)? "You just made me nervous," she said. Although you wouldn't have sensed that as she remained cool as a cucumber with a genuine smile. Ellen called after her, "We're happy you're here!" (Uh, ya think? Given the fact you just sent Haley Vaughn through? Someone needs to pick up your all's slack.) You go, Mama Sox!


Lacey Brown: Gave the perfect answer on why it was okay she missed out to Megan Joy last year (wasn't ready and allowed her to grow). Finally heard her sing and they used it as the backdrop music montage to other contestants making it through. She seems decent.


Katie Stevens: I think we all knew she was a shoe-in. But her jean skirt disturbed me a bit.


Michelle Delamar and Paige Miles: Who and Who? Exactly. Haven't seen much from these gals, especially Miles. But Simon assured Miles that "she's a lot better than she knows." So I expect good things from her. Delamar sang "American Boy" back in Orlando. It was very brief. She seems kind of like a middle-of-the-road contestant (along with Ashley Rodriguez, who also made it through. And I don't know what it is, but something about Ashely R. rubs me the wrong way. Can't put my finger on it quite yet.)


Tyler Grady: Hmmm, don't subject yourself to dancing or "doing anything" they want you to do? Stay true to yourself? Even if that means being a Jim Morrison imitation?


Siobhan Magnus: The misfit who looks like she should star as "Pepper" in "Annie." At least she'll add a flair of something, right? Can't wait to see what the makeover squad tries to pull on her.


And in a slew of Zach Efron look-a-likes (props to my friend Steph for pointing that out), we see that Alex Lambert, John Park and Tim Urban make it through, along with some others who I don't know too much about yet. So what do you think of our Top 24? Are you a bit steamed at the dismissal of Angela? Would you like to start some kind of foundation with me for her? How cute was Andrew Garcia's "usually I'm a cool guy" moment? He's just doing it for his family (which was all the more heartbreaking/endearing considering he was the only one without friends and family members physically there to congratulate him). Share your thoughts below! Lord knows I have mine.

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American Idol Season 9, Hollywood Week: 7 out of 24 Contestants Announced! (Recap)

Hey, does anyone know if Michael Lynch is a new father? Oh, he is? Okay. Glad we could confirm that just one last time. Moving on. On last night's episode of American Idol, 7 out of the Top 24 contestants were revealed! Some not too big a surprise (i.e., the aforementioned proud papa, Lynch); some, however, were -- Todrick Hall, perhaps? Now despite my love for Idol, I will say that I thought maybe 2 hours was just a wee bit long? (I know. Gasp!). So I give you my recap in broken down highlights (and I ain't talkin' bout Seacrest's hair. Or Mary Powers' for that matter.)

Man In The Mirror Boys: Jermaine Sellers, Big Boy Thaddeus Johnson and Todrick Hall step to the Michael and take their stab at "Man In The Mirror." Sellers wasn't that great, but he made him self look ten times worse as soon as he was done, interjecting "Can I just say something?" Oh lord, here we go. No, Jermaine, you may not say something. This is American Idol. You sing your song on the stage, and you move on. You don't stand there, begging and pleading, and no sir, you do not as Kara said twice last night, "throw the band under the bus." And I digress.


Next, we have Thaddeus. Or should I say, Thaddeus' mother, because for me, she was the highlight of his audition. Proud mama indeed, jumping out of her seat as soon as he sang his first note, looking at him like he was the second-coming of Michael. Um, I hate to break it to you, Mama Thad, but your boy is not "bubbly"; he is not a reincarnate of MJ; and his performance will not "put him in the top 24, baby." But on the off chance he does stick around and I get to see more of you, well that is okay with me. (And by the way, who does Thaddeus remind me of? It has been driving me crazy ever since I first saw him. Bonus points to the reader who reads my subconscious first.)

Lastly, Hall tries to sexify "Man In The Mirror," making it all Usher-ish, and boy did it work on well, one of the judges. Get a room, Kara! Both of them seemed like they were trying just a little too hard.


No more Hope for Hope. Hope should have known she was doomed because if there are any two things that are certain, they are this: 1) If Ellen toys with you by saying "it would be cruel to make you wait" and then make you wait, it means you are through to the Top 24; and 2) If you are in the same holding room as Mary Powers, you ain't making the cut. Hope foolishly proclaimed that if she made it through, she "would have it easy in [her] life for once." I'm sorry, Hope. But are you not 16!? And furthermore, don't you think if you became a mega-superstar, things might be just a tad bit hard? (Maybe not, but still.) My young child, go home. Maybe see a dentist. And maybe come back for Idol, season 10.


The Surprise of The Night (Besides Hall making it through): Kara is somewhat endearing. O.M.G. Did those words just come out of my mouth? Rewind. Let me re-read. "Kara is somewhat endearing." Holy smokes, they did. Yes, although I hate to admit it, I kinda liked Kara during the whole deliberation for Casey James. As the blonde rugged James descended the Kodak Theatre steps, Ellen whispered to Kara, "Oh look. He wore his hear down for you." To which Kara, (it pains me to say) cutely replied in an understated tone, "Nice." I don't know, guys. It just worked. And, I'm sorry, but when she did her little leg kick and then was embarrassed when Randy pointed it out, I found myself liking both her and the bedazzled jeans-wearing Jackson. Oh my lord. Must end this paragraph. By the way, James made it through, which is somewhat surprising considering his Chip-And-Dales-like audition. But I'm kinda excited for him. Okay. Done now. (I couldn't type all that fast enough.)

And for the others: Aaron Kelly (the tiny little Aaron Carter-like creature) passes (despite twice forgetting his words, but someone's got to fill that male country slot and I will say that he does have a solid voice); DiDi Benami (who rightfully so thanked Kara for her song because that really was her standout moment -- by the way, I wouldn't mind having that song on my I-Pod -- Didi's version). And let me stop here because does anyone else remember Simon giving this girl a "small 'y'" back in the audition rounds when she sang "Hey Jude"? I do. And DiDi said she would prove herself. I liked her then and I like her now (despite her resemblance to Brooke White.) There was another guy who made it through, but his name escapes me because last night was the first night we saw him. He seemed kind of like an average Joe, but hey, wasn't that Kris Allen from the get-go? Just a thought. (Lee Dewyze is his name. I just looked it up.) Katelyn Epperly cracked the Top 24 as well (blonde curly hair girl), but I'm sorry, despite her cute inspirational note to herself ("THIS IS IT!"), she still did not seem to quite connect to the music as the judges so astutely pointed out. (But she seems to be somewhat of a package artist, so maybe that's why she got the nod.)

So what did you think of last night? Are you happy with the 7 chosen ones so far? Were you surprised when Simon said "it was a mistake" cutting Shelby? Do you like Haley Vaughn? Something tells me she is going to make it through against my wishes. Seriously,the next time she sings, close your eyes and listen. It's a bit shrill. Unlike Ms. Chrystal Bowersox, who delivered a pitch-perfect rendition of Sheryl Crow's "If It Makes You Happy," while also incorporating a harmonica into the acoustic guitar mix! I am a fan of Chrystal's. She is true to herself, right down to the writing on her guitar. Also, just because Ashley Rodriguez looks like Jordin Sparks, does that mean she has to sing "Battlefield"? You seemed confident, Ashley, but not the brightest song choice, me thinks. Finally, is DioGuardi trying to take over Paula's shtick, dancing and grooving while our beloved ones sing? Next thing you know, she'll be doing the penguin clap. (Come on, you know I had to get my dig in somewhere.)

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Look-A-Like Monday!

All these look-a-likes lately, but for Look-A-Like Monday, I couldn't help but notice the resemblance between self-eliminator Ali from The Bachelor and The View's Elisabeth Hasselbeck.  By the way, I'm having some computer issues, so this week's American Idol posts may be a little delayed.  Thanks, Elizabeth.

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American Idol Season 9 Look-A-Likes: Ashley Rodriguez / Jordin Sparks

More American Idol Season 9 Look-A-Likes: Ashley Rodriguez bears a striking resemblance to Idol season 6, winner, Ms. Jordin Sparks, no?

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American Idol Season 9 Look-A-Likes: Mallorie Haley

Is it just me, or does American Idol Season 9 contestant Mallorie Haley kinda look like Nicole Richie? In fact, I'm noticing a bunch of Idol look-a-likes this season .. more to come!

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American Idol Season 9 Hollywood Week, Day 2 (Recap): The Dreaded Group Night and ... Mary Powers?!

Tonight on American Idol, we moved on to the second night of Hollywood Week, aka, Group Night, as we sat and watched how the Kodak Theatre became more of a stage set from "West Side Story" than one poised for a family friendly competition searching for America's next singing sensation. Oh, Group Night. Where the obligatory "uncool" kids get left in the dust, the favorites stay on top through "pimp" slots and seemingly normal people become crazy looking she-devils, (and I ain't talking about you, DioGuardi).

Group Names, No Names, and Mary Powers? It was a dark Tuesday night, Cowell was angry, and the Idol stage was set. The Jets versus the Sharks, I mean, oh lord, what were their names? Team Awesome? No, Power Rangers? Destiny'sChild? Let me search my copious notes .. oh yeah, the second coming of the Hatfields and the McCoys? ... No. Destiny's Wild vs. Neapolitan!! That's it! Where weird guys who use words like "punchy" and girls who have extra orange skin or hot pink hair rule! Indeed, it was an acapella rumble of Lady GaGa's "Bad Romance" (glad to see the songs have been modernized this year!). I couldn't tell you the group members' names here because it was the beginning of the show and this segment is reserved for apparent no-names. (More on the pimp slot later.)

Except here's one name for ya: Mary Powers-- an Alanna Uback look-a-like who must have ran a marathon or something since last night because she looked extra sweaty and extra scary. Or at least, that's the way the producers made her appear (which I don't think was a stretch seeing how she even yelled at the piano guy. Don't step to Michael Orland, Mary!) I guess Hollywood Week, Group Night just brings out the ugly because even Hope (who I thought was a very sweet girl) was inviting the bad karma (trying to ditch two girls from the group). Despite all of the drama surrounding Mary, she along with Hope and Alex Lambert (no relation to Adam) make it through and as Randy so nicely pointed out, the other two "girls in the back row" were sent packing. (As well as they should have been. Seriously, how did the girl in the pink dress make it there? Did she hide in one of Michael Lynch's sleeves?)

And speaking of Michael Lynch (the other contestant to whom the first half of tonight's episode was dedicated), it was around the end of the first half that I started to wonder just how long his wife had been in labor. After numerous shots of him talking to his baby momma on the phone, coaching her through it all the while, he finally asked, "the whole baby's out?" Well I should hope so considering it felt like possibly half of it had been hanging out since last night. (I keed. I keed.) Seriously, I like Michael. He's got a good energy about him. (P.S. It was a "good day" for Lynch as he also made it through to the next round.)

Early Favorites and the Perks of Editing: Now not that I think they need it, but early favorites get a little something I like to call "Pimp Power Editing." (Yes, I just made that up.) Were you wondering as I was just where Janell Wheeler and Andrew Garcia and Chrystal (what's that crazy last name again?) were? I mean, we didn't see Wheeler until there were 10 minutes left and Garcia only showed up in blips until then, rocking his new haircut (it's not makeover time yet, Andrew.) But seriously, was it really necessary to introduce their groups by first showing us a beautiful sunset, only to then cut directly to a light shining down on the stage, complete with lit-up dust fuzzies (similar to the looks of angel dust), like Janell had just been sent from heaven? I mean, all the while I was watching Mary Powers, I kept envisioning Janell and Andrew tucked away, peacefully sleeping on white fluffy beds so as not to be disturbed by the crazy Powers. But that's just me.

Needless to say, all of the favorites, including Haley Vaughn made it through (despite Vaughn being in a group who completely murdered Gwen Stefani's "Sweet Escape.") Again, that wasn't highlighted because Vaughn has already been "chosen." (I will say again, please don't get me wrong. I think all the favorites are GREAT. I just don't think we need such pimpage. I mean, I'm already starting to feel like they're making my Andrew to be the second-coming-of-Gokey, and I can NOT let that happen.)

So what did you think of Hollywood Group Night? I know I took a little artistic freedom with tonight's post (probably because the episode was so manic), but did any other contestants stand out to you? If nothing else, please tell me just what in the holy hell was up with Kara's get-up? Does she think now that she is not being vocally distracting, she has to be visually disturbing? I'm not even sure how to describe that fo-hawk rat's nest on her head. (Oh, Kara. I keed. ... sort of.) Do weigh in below! Til' next week!

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American Idol Season 9 Hollywood Week, Round 1 Recap: Ellen DeGeneres and Andrew Garcia Emerge Victorious!

Well color me tickled, the first night of American Idol Season 9 Hollywood Week, Round 1 was no disappointment. Clever song choices, newcomers with mad vocals, and what's that, a judge who pays attention to the contestants(!?) (gasp!) were all found in tonight's episode. And since I'm a bit sleepy, I'm going to get right down to business. A few highlights, if you will.

1) Ellen is no Idol dummy and is A-OK in my book ... so far! Yes, as Kara can tell you, I'm a hard one to please. But after worrying Ellen would be all joke and no substance, I am happy to report that so far, my fears have proven to be unjustified. Not only did Ellen seem to take her new job very seriously (specs perched on her nose tip and all), but she delivered sound critiques that were relevant, constructive and not so surprisingly, humorous.

2) My Early Favorites Emerge Triumphant. Thank you, Andrew Garcia for flipping Paula Abdul's "Straight Up" and reminding everyone that a critical factor in finding "Idol Moments" is the ability to pick an unexpected song and turn it on its head. In case you need any more clarification of what I'm talking about, I'll give you one word: 'Heartless'. And I think it is no coincidence that he is already being compared (albeit, by Kara) to the likes of Mr. Adam Lambert. I think the word "genius" was a word used to describe him tonight. Okay, okay. I'm done tooting my own horn. (Like I had something to do with his song choice. But Katie Stevens and Janell Wheeler (who spun Kanye's "American Boy") killed it too. AND, I digress.)

3) There are Hidden Gems In That There Kodak Theatre. Yes, it is always nice come Hollywood Week to see fresh talent who we haven't already seen during the audition rounds emerge. The talent who came out of hiding tonight included peacock earring-wearing Lilly Scott, who rocked out some Ella Fitzgerald (!) on what appeared to be a very broken in guitar (digging that!). She made it through with Sam Larsen (who we still haven't seen perform), but is a guy on my radar due to the dreads. (I know, I know.) And speaking of dreads, the other hidden gem tonight for me was Crystal Bowersox. Now there's a name. With a face looking too young to be a mom of an adorable little boy, this girl who Simon described as "infectious" and "real" belted out some "Natural Woman" with a power that couldn't be denied.

4) Surprise, Surprise. Lastly, while I wasn't pleased to find it be the "end of the road" for Justin Williams and Maddy Curtis, I will say that I am happy that there was at least the element of surprise through these unexpected eliminations. (Man, I must be channeling my inner Tenley because I am sounding really optimistic!) I really expected to see these two in the Top 24, but, alas, it seems that bad song choice was the Achilles' heels for Williams and Curtis (side note: I would have given them another chance). (Second side note: Is it just me, or is Maddy Curtis the girl version of David Archuletta? Think about it.)

Gosh, as I look through my notes, I see so much more to discuss like Casey James as a better looking and more vocally gifted Bucky Covington; the fact that Justin Williams "the cancer survivor" (seriously, is that his middle name?) might not have gotten through because of overactive armpit sweat glands; the oddity that there were Vitamin Zero water bottles instead of Coke cups in front of the judges; and how great Didi was singing a Kara DioGuardi song! (She looked a lot better with her hair ironed out, but she kind of reminded me of Brooke White ... ew.)


So what did you think of our first night of Hollywood Week? Did you like Ellen as much as me? And were you as heartbroken as me to see Vanessa Wolfe being cut after a poor performance of Blind Melon's "No Rain"? I think my bottom lip was to the floor by the time she determined she had "disappointed her momma." But I quickly recovered once I realized how spot-on Ellen really was, telling Vanessa "you're hiding inside and scared to death and you gotta let go of that because those nerves are going to kill you." And while I'm on the subject of Ellen's genius (okay, maybe I'm just overexcited here), but I loved when she said, "I think she'll get annoying" as they looked through the contestant bios. Because I think she was talking about Haley Vaughn at this point. Although Vaughn was good at times, I found her to be a bit pitchy and loud.


Oh lord, I must stop. Gotta scurry off to bed. But woo-hoo, Idol is now really underway it seems! In fact, I think I'm going to pay homage to our new fourth judge and dance my way off to bed. Will you be doing the same jig?

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American Idol Season 9 Hollywood Week: Ones to Watch!

Yes, the moment is almost near!  American Idol Season 9 Hollywood Week begins tonight at 8:00!  And I, for one, can't wait!  Not only do we get to have our first taste of how Ellen will act as the new judge, but we get to start picking our early favorites.  And you know I already have a list of my ones to watch. 

The ones I will be eyeing for the pure "It" / Talent factor:  In other words, I have some high hopes for these guys and gals:  Andrew Garcia (my number one pick, thick glasses guy); Janell Wheeler (great voice, Scarlett-Jo look-a-like); Katie Stevens (young, sweet girl who had the grandma with Alzheimer’s); Tyler Grady (tall, skinny, Jim Morrison type); Justin Williams (former season 8 "White Chocolate" member); and Mallorie Haley (hasn't gotten much screen time, but had a really good audition).

The ones who just seem interesting:  Rose Flack; Maddie Penrose; Samuel Larsen; Lacey Brown; Frankie Jordan; and, of course, Ms. Vanessa Wolfe.  You might remember the platinum dread-locked Rose Flack from last year.  While I don't think she has the goods to go Top 24, I do find her unique and am glad to see she's back.  Another season 8 alum, Frankie Jordan, almost made it, but she seemed to have an attitude problem and something about her just rubs me the wrong way.  Although she's coming out with a new set of thick bangs, I think her attitude this year will be no different.  Penrose and Larsen we have not seen but appear to have an interesting "look" and if I'm going to be superficial here, just by going off that alone, I'm excited to see if they'll bring anything new to the table.  Yes, I am actually saying that because Penrose wears silly glasses and Larsen has dreads, I am putting them on my radar.  Brown was the alternate who missed out to Megan Joy last year, so she might be one who deserves a little attention (let's just hope she doesn't try any bird caws).

So who are your "ones to watch" in Hollywood?  And how do you think Ellen will do?  The little preview we got last week actually showed a "mean" side, teasing that it might not just be all fun and games with her.  I hope this is true, but at the same time, I wonder if Ellen being hard and serious will just seem weird and uncomfortable.  Only time will tell, and thank goodness, that time is almost here!

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Jersey Shore Cast To Appear On The View

You know you can't get enough of them, and apparently America can't either.  Not only did the Jersey Shore cast appear on Ellen today, but they are set to appear on The View February 23rd.  Set those DVRs!  Wonder what Elisabeth will have to say to our beloved Snickers ...  It should be quite interesting!

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Look-A-Like Monday!

J-WOWw.  I'm seeing double! 

Left:  Entourage actress, Emanuelle Chriqui
Right:  Jen "J-Woww" Farley from The Jersey Shore

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American Idol Season 9 Denver Auditions: All Joke and No Relevancy Makes Elizabeth an Angry Girl (Recap)

Tonight in Denver, we bid adieu to auditions and look forward to Hollywood Week. And it couldn't have come at a better time. Elizabeth can not take another pre-wrapped package of Idol auditions. Predictable. Predictable. Predictable.

We of course had to endure the obligatory ridiculousness of Victoria Beckham, the robotic ways of Kara (following the mindset of those who speak before her), the meaningless over-the-top number rating system by Randy (a system to which the aforementioned robot seems to have adopted now as well), and the fact that Simon is the only one who deserves to have his little keister parked at that judges' table, enjoying a Coca-Cola Classic.

With that being said, Elizabeth feels wiped. She feels spent. She feels a bit sad, yet is still optimistic going into Hollywood Week. So she has decided to write a song, set to the tune of Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive."

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never watch
Kara and Posh side by side


But I spent so many Tuesdays
thinking how Idol's done me wrong
So I grew strong
I learned how to carry on


Now Posh is back
with a crazy bun
Letting sub-par talent through
because their turquoise and dress won


Kara should have tried to step it up
But alas of course she cowered
Instead of touting contestant vocals
She clung to her girl power!


Go on, Randy go.
Walk out the door.
Just go back to Journey now.
Cause you're not welcome anymore.


You should change your stupid phrases
But it's your undying flaw you do possess
Now exactly what does it mean
For someone to be a "Zillion" percent yes?


But, I - I will survive.
Oh, as long as I have Simon
I know Idol will stay alive.
I've got all my blogs to write.
I've got all my thoughts to share.
So I'll survive.
I will survive.
Oh Oh!


Hope you enjoyed my ditty. For those of you who love the question wrap-up and the in-depth analysis, I'll squeeze the two together. Did you notice Kimberly's wig right away like me and ah-hem, Simon? Who was your favorite of the night? I vote for Danielle (she ran a karaoke bar and auditioned to Melissa Ethridge's "I'm the Only One"). It was a little rough (like her), but I did like her raw talent. She reminded me of a certain little red head from season 8 (our beloved little Allison Iraheta of course). Were you as embarrassed as I was for Casey James, aka, the guy who took off his shirt for Kara and Posh? Lastly, what was the most ridiculous critique of Posh's? 1) "I like your turquoise. I like your dress. You're really sunny." 2) "You have beautiful skin." (To helium voice girl, Nicki Nix) or 3) "Take down your hair (and clothes) ... You've got a great look." How on earth are any of these relevant?! I'll cut her some slack ... she is a GUEST judge. But Kara, you have no excuse. I say give me Hollywood Week already. What say you? Are you spent?

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It's Look-A-Like Monday!

Left: Gretchen Rossi from The Real Housewives of Orange County

Right: Former Supermodel, Christie Brinkley

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