Skip to main content

American Idol Elvis Night: I'm Caught in a Season 9 Trap ... I Wanna Walk Out. (Recap)

(Yes, Elvis definitely left the building last night.  Particularly when Aaron donned his blue suede shoes.)

Hey, can anyone tell me - what the heck was Seacrest on last night?!  Did he find Paula's stash?  I mean, from inappropriate tongue references to Mr. Adam Lambert (in front of his mother, mind you) to random slow dancing with former season 8 contestants (yes, that was Michael Sarver) to untimely jokes about his former co-host (um, didn't Brian Dunkleman leave like after season 1(!)?) ... the giddy little host definitely made me feel slightly uncomfortable on at least four occasions last night.  But then again, so did many of our season 9 contestants.  Because with the exception of Bowersox and Lee Dewyze, I think the Idols (and Seacrest and judges) may have caused Elvis to roll over in his grave more than once last night.

Seriously, will our next American Idol be TURBAN?!?!  Guess "Teflon Tim" didn't quite stick.  Really, Ryan?  TURBAN?!  Two major annoyances with Tim's performance last night of "Can't Help Falling in Love":  1) Tim blatantly ignores Adam's advice and does not end the sweet song in a falsetto.  Wrong!  But this wrong was not as blasphemous as that of the judges, who seemingly want to propel this wide-eyed, yet utterly clueless Zac Efron wannabe into the Idol throne.  Ellen wants to give him another hug.  (Oy veh.)  Kara says it's her favorite (Tim) performance.  (Oh this again.  Really?!)  But wait.  The best is yet to come.  Yes, Cowell incredulously states - Tim has gone from zero to ha-ha-ha (wait for it ... I'll get it out, I promise) ... Hero!!  W.T.F., brother Cowell.  W.T.F.

You know, I'm glancing over the rest of my notes, and last night was so bleh that I think I'm just going to wrap up the rest in a song.  I sing to you, Idol, set to the tune of Elvis' "Suspicious Minds."

 I'm caught in a trap.
I can't walk out.
Because I've loved Idol too much baby.

Why can't you see.  (Tim.)
What you're doing to me
When you don't hear a word I say?

We can't go on together. (season 9)
With boring numbers.  (Aaron.)
And we can't build our dreams. (Andrew.)
On cheesy ditties.

So if an old friend I know.  (Adam.)
Drops by to mentor, behold.
You should heed his expert advice.  (Turban.)

But here we go again.
Lee too afraid to grab that win.
You can't see the tears I'm crying.

Oh let my Idol love survive.
Please, Crystal dry the tears from my eyes.
Let's don't let a good thing die.  (Casey.)

When Mamasox, you know
I've never spoken ill of you
Mmm yeah, yeah if you go I will too.


We can't go on together. (season 9)
With fake tough-girl impersonations.  (Katie.)
And we can't build our dreams. (Siobhan.)
On inconsistencies.

Why can't you see.  (Ken Warwick)
What you've done to me.  (Elizabeth.)
When you don't see the tears I cry.  (Give me back my Mother F-In Season 8!)


Lee or Bowersox for the win.  Peace out.

Comments

  1. check this out. apparently seacrest was even weirder behind the scenes:
    Apparently, Ryan was even stranger than we saw:


    EW Behind the Scenes

    And Adam B Vary promises a response from Adam about the Warwick comment. Will it be diplomatic? Or will it be Clay/Gene/Out response-like?

    ReplyDelete
  2. i think ryan gets a little too excited around adam. idk, just something i noticed ...

    oh yeah, and when he talks about justin bieber!! ha ha!!!

    love lee. and of course chrystal

    ReplyDelete
  3. Idol producer finally showed a moment of brilliance in having Adam as mentor on the night Crystal performed FIRST. I know *I* stuck around!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. PS: Loved your song and I sang it all the way through!

    PPS: Why are they making Siobhan into a hip June Cleaver?

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

American Idol Inspirational Song Night: Crystal Bowersox Cries. I Finally Feel Something. (Recap)

Considering I kept busy on my computer all the while Idol played out tonight on my TV screen, only giving the occasional glance up to notice that Lee Dewyze got his hairs cut, Kara got her hairs styled in a flattering manner that I can't quite put my finger on as to why they were so flattering and Simon's buzz cut looked especially unflattering ... I guess you could say it was all one big unnoticeable snooze fest until Crystal "Mamasox" Bowersox took the stage. So really, all I care about commenting on is her for now.

Wicked Mic Stands and Wet Eyes: Now I don't know if Crystal got overly wrapped up in the spirit of today's date, but someone should have told her pot paraphernalia is not allowed on the Idol stage. Oh, I keed. I keed. Crystal's extraordinary mic stand was made from an old lamp with which she always used to perform in her pre-Idol days. Could that sentimentality be what brought on her sudden outburst of tears at the end of her emotional "…

American Idol Top 9 Perform: Casey James, BagPipes and Didgeridoos Make For One Good Night! (Recap)

Well hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog, folks, do we finally have a competition on our hands?  Maybe I am just a little excited about my tax refund or am perhaps silly over this ga-or-geous weather we are having, but dare I say, that in last night's Idol, I saw shades of Idol season 8!?!  Yes, from the humorous moments (one word: bagpipe) to some mad awesome vocals (two words: Casey James), I finally recognized a competitive momentum taking place, which left no alternative but to bring me to a rolling boil of excitement!

I will break it down with the highlights of the night:

These Intro Packages Are Workin' For Me!:  Question for you, Mr. Idol Producer:  Why couldn't we have used these endearing little intro packages wherein Idols comment on other Idols, showing us the viewer some real personality, earlier?  I mean, how much did I love learning that Lee Dewyze and Andrew Garcia have been in a bro-mance since Hollywood Week?!  It brought me back to the big bro/lil sis days o…

It's a Crystal / Lee Finale ... And I'm Alright.

(Bye little, Casey.  Hey, we'll always have "Jealous Guy")
I'm alright
Nobody worry 'bout me
The end is now in sight
Will it be Crystal or that damn sexy Lee?

Yes, folks.  Don't worry about me.  I am still alive.  I just haven't been posting as regularly because I've been waiting to be moved again.  And if those hometown visits last night didn't get you a little misty eyed, well then may I suggest you check your pulse. 

In what was probably the most predicted elimination, we said goodbye to that Cool Texan, Casey James, leaving us with the two most deserving contestants of season 9:  Crystal "Mamasox" Bowersox and Lee "You Can Mix My Paint Any Ol' Time" DeWyze.  And while I have always thought Mamasox would wind up with the win, I find myself pulling for Lee.  But (unlike last season), I can honestly say that I'm alright with either.  (And I think most people would agree.)

Lee's hometown visit ... well, let's just …