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Tim Urban: Get Out of My Life


Hey, can anyone tell me who went home on American Idol tonight? I know that's my job and all here, but you see, I'm not able to because I chucked my TV out the window and into my parking lot after Tim Urban's response to Seascrest's question.

Seacrest: Tim, if you could do it all over again after the judges' critiques, would you do it differently?


Tim Urban: You know, I obviously thought about that last night a lot (um, I doubt it), and I had so much fun (yeah, we got that) that no. I would not do it differently. (Aaannnd, goodbye to my flat screen.)

Okay, kids. Listen up. Elizabeth's number one pet peeve is the phrase: "I had fun." Like that is supposed to magically wipe away all of your suckiness. And I don't know if you're aware of this or not, but you are performing for an audience of 30 million people. Yeah, you got that? 30 million. You are not alone in your shower, living room, or wherever else it is legal for such suckiness to take place without so much as a "bleeding ear" citation. You are performing for me, the viewer. And guess what, I ain't havin' fun.

Oh yeah, and while I'm at it, repeat after me -- the judges are here to help me. Not hurt me. To listen to them would be wise. I shall no longer feel the need to assert my inexperience as knowledge superior to that of people who have been in the biz longer than I have been alive.

Okay. I'm done now. So again, please tell me it was Urban who went home. Yeah, Paige's "Against All Odds" had about as many notes off key as Big Mike's baby/baby momma's cameos (a lot), but at least she admitted that it "could have been better." (That is an understatement.) So please, America. He has already ruined my TV. Do not allow him to taint the American Idol "Top 10." (P.S. Remind me to not buy a ticket to that Idol summer tour!)

Comments

  1. Um......E......it's NOT a sunshine day. Pete lives to have lots more fun, do way cooler slides, grow more hair, and do what he damn well pleases, so that we'll all skip that summer tour this year.

    Yes indeedy there will be Didi. :¬(

    So, who does that leave, that SHOULD leave? That's right. Everyone but Chrystal and Siobhan. But alas we have many more weeks of torture before we weed them out one by one.

    Paige is gone. Yes she blew it on Tuesday, singing more off key than is legal, but she went with grace, and her swan song was done well. Tom was begging for some Aretha or Tina out of Paige, but.........too late!

    Even the most awesome supercool mentor EVER, couldn't save Paige this week, and the famous "SAVE" wasn't even in the picture. I'd like to thank the judges for sparing us that ridiculous secret meeting.

    Okay, the word of the season seems to be "corny", right? So, how fitting that the Jonas dude did that duet, dressed like a "rat pack member" while doing all those facial exercises. WTF was THAT?

    Anyhoo, we'll do this all over next week. See ya then little E!

    ReplyDelete
  2. yes, thank you judges! round of applause. now that would have been the very definition of a farce!

    loving your WTF was THAT comment. i had to repair my TV and watch that corn-y-licious performance over my lunch break. oh my lord.
    what was up with that. no. seriously.

    i felt like there was some mickey mouse club convention (were those girls in the front SCREAMING or WHAT?) and there was some secret that I was not let in on.

    they were going full force with that song. something about a pebble in the water.
    um, yeah. i didn't get the memo that this apparently was the coolest thing ever.

    poor crystal. she was probably sitting in the front thinking, WTF is taking place in front of me? and why is there a highschool yearbook looking autograph on my guitar tainting the likes of Melissa Ethridge?

    ReplyDelete
  3. ROFL! Did she dot her "i" with a little ♡, I wonder?!

    ReplyDelete

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