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American Idol Top 12: Results Show Recap - Superlative Style

Okay guys. The Idol Top 12 Results show tonight sent Lacey Brown packing, and I'll have you know, I am writing these words as she still sits in the silver chair next to Paige-Still don't know her last name. I either want to say Miles or Davis. Anyhoo, I'm pretty sure it's going to be Brown, so I'll just go ahead and start writing now. Bah-Bah Billy Goat.
I've decided to sum up our results in the form of Idol Superlatives because I saw so many of them come about tonight. So without further ado:

Most Funny: Randy Jackson! With a comedic imitation of Justin Timberlake. Hey, the dawg can be kinda funny sometimes.
Most Creative Braids: Katie Stevens. Was it a simple side braid? Was it a french braid in the back? Discuss.
Biggest Hint of Unwarranted Smugness: Tim f-in Urban acting like it was ca-razy Seacrest suggested he had an off night!
Most I Wanna Wipe That Damn Smile Off Your F-In Face: Didi Benami. Seriously? It's okay to talk normal, honey. You are not a ventriloquist.
Best Surprise Accent: Orianti (?) I have never heard this girl's name before, so please forgive me if I have misspelled.
Most Likely to be a Politician: Michael "here for the people" Lynch. (Well, at least he's got a back-up gig for when his cheesy appeal wears off.)
Craziest Hair Accessory: Lacey Brown. Whoah! I think that thing had it's own area code.
Most Ridiculous Question: Seacrest to Ellen: "Is this bottom three worth the judge's save?"
[Reminder: This spot-on bottom three included Paige "it seems like I could give two s**ts if I'm here or not" Miles(?), Lacey "Depressing Billy Goat" Brown and that Urban kid. (I'm tired of wasting words on him.)]
Biggest Crock of S**t Answer: Ellen to Seacrest: "Yeesss?"
Even Bigger Crock of S**t Answer: Simon to Seacrest: "One of them is." [Seriously, Simon? It's bugging. Why do you keep insisting on keeping this Paige chick around, hinting that she's the next best thing? Two words for ya: Lil Rounds.]
Biggest Disappointment: Peter Brady being sent back to safety.
Performance that Caused My Eyebrows to Furrow In a Permanent State of Confusion: Keisha (is it?) Of which the topper was undoubtedly the Indian headdress. Yes, in fact, my eyebrows are still furrowed as I type these very words.

So where do you weigh in? Happy to see the billy goat go? Would you have liked to have just wiped all three out right there and then like me? How about poor Crystal Bowersox, who now has to constantly be ever so careful with her modesty? Do you have any superlatives that I didn't cover? Til next week my little leprechauns.


  1. Oh yeah......"Pete" needs to channel another facial expression. It's like in his little mophead, a voice is constantly yelling "SURPRISE"!

    "Tim, you were FANTASTIC!" tim----> 8¬O

    "Tim, you sang like a screech owl!" tim-----> 8¬O

    "Tim, "STOP IT!" tim-----> 8¬O

    Jeesh, go already.

    Anyway......I did like Lacey's voice and will miss her singing me to sleep on Tuesdays, but not particularly surprised, and really not surprised the judges didn't use "the save". I hate that gimmick anyway. It's like 4 people in a life boat discussing whether to pull someone out of the raging sea.

    Didi should be named Dohdoh.

    I think Keisha, Kesha, Kashi wore the headdress to one up what's been appearing on the female contestants' heads!

    The whole time she was performing, I wondered what Simon was thinking, but then I noticed the judges seats were empty. Hey if WE have to sit through this, so should you!

    Sorry E, I can't tell you about Pretty Kitty's braid. I use her stage time to pick up dog poop in the yard. ;¬)

    Til next week........

  2. Get in here E! Write something...anything. I want to comment. ;¬)

    In the meantime....just two words. You fill in the blanks.



  3. Oh, sorry. Did not see this .. but I did give you the above. How 'bout this:

    Chrystal = Pure Awesomeness.

    Paige = Poop.

  4. anonymous3/30/2010

    this is a test w/ new template


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