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American Idol Season 9 Denver Auditions: All Joke and No Relevancy Makes Elizabeth an Angry Girl (Recap)

Tonight in Denver, we bid adieu to auditions and look forward to Hollywood Week. And it couldn't have come at a better time. Elizabeth can not take another pre-wrapped package of Idol auditions. Predictable. Predictable. Predictable.


We of course had to endure the obligatory ridiculousness of Victoria Beckham, the robotic ways of Kara (following the mindset of those who speak before her), the meaningless over-the-top number rating system by Randy (a system to which the aforementioned robot seems to have adopted now as well), and the fact that Simon is the only one who deserves to have his little keister parked at that judges' table, enjoying a Coca-Cola Classic.

With that being said, Elizabeth feels wiped. She feels spent. She feels a bit sad, yet is still optimistic going into Hollywood Week. So she has decided to write a song, set to the tune of Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive."

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never watch
Kara and Posh side by side


But I spent so many Tuesdays
thinking how Idol's done me wrong
So I grew strong
I learned how to carry on


Now Posh is back
with a crazy bun
Letting sub-par talent through
because their turquoise and dress won


Kara should have tried to step it up
But alas of course she cowered
Instead of touting contestant vocals
She clung to her girl power!


Go on, Randy go.
Walk out the door.
Just go back to Journey now.
Cause you're not welcome anymore.


You should change your stupid phrases
But it's your undying flaw you do possess
Now exactly what does it mean
For someone to be a "Zillion" percent yes?


But, I - I will survive.
Oh, as long as I have Simon
I know Idol will stay alive.
I've got all my blogs to write.
I've got all my thoughts to share.
So I'll survive.
I will survive.
Oh Oh!


Hope you enjoyed my ditty. For those of you who love the question wrap-up and the in-depth analysis, I'll squeeze the two together. Did you notice Kimberly's wig right away like me and ah-hem, Simon? Who was your favorite of the night? I vote for Danielle (she ran a karaoke bar and auditioned to Melissa Ethridge's "I'm the Only One"). It was a little rough (like her), but I did like her raw talent. She reminded me of a certain little red head from season 8 (our beloved little Allison Iraheta of course). Were you as embarrassed as I was for Casey James, aka, the guy who took off his shirt for Kara and Posh? Lastly, what was the most ridiculous critique of Posh's? 1) "I like your turquoise. I like your dress. You're really sunny." 2) "You have beautiful skin." (To helium voice girl, Nicki Nix) or 3) "Take down your hair (and clothes) ... You've got a great look." How on earth are any of these relevant?! I'll cut her some slack ... she is a GUEST judge. But Kara, you have no excuse. I say give me Hollywood Week already. What say you? Are you spent?

Comments

  1. A zillion percent YES to getting to Hollywood already!

    OMG, I loved your ditty, Bitty!! Is it too late for you to try out with that? I'll pay your plane fare.

    I think you were right on in your analysis of the four judges. However, you were a bit hard on Victoria. Clearly she has brain damage from wearing her hair so tightly wrapped on top of her head. I was afraid she would topple over.

    If she ever comes back.......god forbid.....they need to blindfold her, so she HAS to listen to voices.

    If they don't put us ALL through to Hollywood soon, they are going to lose those of us who actually have some intelligence left.

    I'm getting dawg tired of this.

    Will I survive????

    ReplyDelete
  2. Connie, I always enjoy your comments. This one, I especially liked the part about Victoria. Tonight, we see the elevator rides of joy or doom w/ the top 24 being announced. Albeit, this episode can be a bit boring, I say hip hip hooray!!! because I, like you, am dawg tired, my dawg-ette.

    and p.s. you can pay my plane fare, except i won't go there to try out. I would, well, I think you know what I would go there for.

    ReplyDelete
  3. rockmusic2/04/2010

    AT FIRST I WAS AFRAID I WAS PETRIFIED
    I DID NOT KNOW HOW PAULA EVER LEFT SIMONS SIDE

    SHE SPENT SO MANY NIGHTS TAKING PILLS 4 ALL HER PAIN
    AS WE ALL SHOOK OUR HEADS AND CRIED THAT IT WAS A SHAME

    BUT I SPENT SO MANY MONTHS OF WATCHING DAWG ACT LIKE HE IS KING
    AND THEN KARA GOT UP AND THOUGHT THAT SHE COULD SING
    SIMON HAS IT GOING ON HE IS RICH AND DOES NOT WEARS BLING
    I DIG SIMON MOST CAUSE HE NEVER TRIED 2 SING

    NOW COME COME OUT THE DOOR
    YOU TOP 12 NOW THERE IS ONE OR MORE I WILL ADORE

    I DONT KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I WISH IO COULD HAVE CHAGED THE STUPID BOTTOM TREE
    IF I HAD THE POWER THE NEXT AMERICAN IDOL WOULD BE ME

    WELL NOW ELLENS HERE OH MY OH DEAR
    I WILL PUT DOWN THAT REMOTE AND I GUESS i WILL GRAB A BEER!!

    BUT I - I WILL SURVIVE -
    SEASON 9 OF AMERICAN IDOL WHEN ITS DONE I WILL BE ALIVE

    REPEAT AND FADE OUT!!!!

    lol



    rockmusic

    rockmusic

    ReplyDelete
  4. You hit the lyrics of the song right on the nose (LOL)! I can't wait until Hollywood next week. There are great vocals this season and can't wait to see who will make it through to the top 24.

    I will survive!

    ReplyDelete

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