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American Idol Results Night (Recap): Season 8 Is a Breath of Fresh Air While Season 9 Reeks of Day Old Trash

Oh where to begin. We had our first American Idol season 9 Results Show tonight, and I must say, I enjoyed it more than the past two performance nights. Not because I got to see a smug Ashley Rodriguez go home (although that was quite nice), but because there were two refreshing appearances by our season 8 vets, Allison Iraheta and Kris Allen. But then again, realizing they were only there for a fleeting moment, ditching me soon again with the likes of what's-her-name-Miles and Tim/John/Alex Urban shot me right back to reality, leaving me no choice but to finish my bottle of $4 wine. If I may, I would like to present to you the ebbs and flows of my Idol Results Show experience.

Opening Song Sequence Say What?: First of all, a few things wrong with the opening song sequence: 1) Do you think if Mamsox had a thought bubble, it would have read: What the hell am I doing here singing this cheesy a** song alongside a girl who owns every flower headband from Forever 21? 2) Is there a quota American Idol has to meet before the end of season 9 for how many times "American Boy" needs to be sung? And 3) Might it have been a tad bit awkward for the 12 males in the group to be singing, "will you be my American boy." Just a thought.

Janell Goes Home Say What?: Something is wrong with America. Janell Wheeler is the first one out?! Let us please recall her "House of the Rising Sun" audition. Her "American Boy" Hollywood Week audition! Let's also recall Haeley's m-f-ing yelling! Oh em gee. I didn't think I could be more ticked at season 9, but now the steam is really rolling out my ears.

Oh, but here comes Allison Iraheta, and suddenly Janell is just a distant memory. Yes, it is true. As soon as Allison appeared in her fabulous black dress and lacy leggings, I sat on the edge of my ottoman, about a foot away from my TV, listening to her singing "Scars" with what I'm sure was the dumbest grin on my face, seriously looking at her as if I was this proud mama Idol hen. Well ... I AM proud of her. I can only hope some of her magnificence rubs off on those girls who really did sit a foot away from her. True, Allison may have screamed a little on her "exit interview" and she may have suddenly even adopted a bit of a gangsta accent, but pay no mind. I love you Ally Cat!

Ashely Rodriguez. Didi? Ashley Rodriguez. Didi? AND, back to the voting results. Ashley Rodriguez stood between Chrystal and Didi, looked up, and thought, well -- I'm screwed. (That's what ya get for being a Jordin Sparks wannabe!) Sianara sista! But then, Didi suddenly seemed to become paralyzed and looked very awkward standing there next to Rodriguez with a hint of entitlement on her face. All of a sudden, I wanted Didi to go! But then I became glad again when Ashley actually did get the boot because man, she got some attitude on her didn't she? Ryan: What are you going to do? Bitch-face: "Well, I'm gonna sing a song right now." Ryan: Seriously, what would you like to say? Bitch-face: "I wanna say thank you," (swiveling her neck around like her head was about to disembark and shoot off into outerspace). Um, something makes me not wanna believe that thank you. I told you that girl rubbed me the wrong way. I think Ashley overcompensated her anger with some mad (not the good kind) singing, but I was too busy checking and triple-checking my dead-bolts in case Ms. Rodriguez has been reading my blog. Hey, you're just trying to be happy?! I'm just trying to be safe!

And then, another moment of panic creeped in ... give me an f-in break! Joe Munoz is going home and Peter Brady (aka, Tim Urban) (shout-out to you, Connie) is SAFE?! Seriously, can we just end this freaking show now!?

Oh, and I'm over it again, because we have another season 8 vet to soothe me. Kris Allen, who was on the ground in Haiti (not to be confused with him flying around in
circles above Haiti) came on and ripped some "Let it Be." All jokes aside, man did I get some chills. The song. The voice. The mini montage of Kris holding and playing with Haitian kids. Pa-lease. Idol season 8 is over. I'm left with Headband Vaughn. There's only so much Elizabeth's heart can take. Let it be. Let it be. Sigh.

I will say that the only thing America did get right tonight was keeping Alex Lambert over Tyler Grady. Oh boo hoo, Tyler. The judges waited until last night to finally tell you that you are and have always been a lame copy-cat? Cry me a river. Way to poop on yourself when you've already had a leaky diaper.

So what did you think? Did America get it right? Do you care? Did you feel no remorse for Tyler or did seeing him in his spa robe, tennis socks and boots make you like him for a fleeting second? Would you rather have seen Katie Stevens go bye bye or, once again, do you care? Better yet, let's talk about how fabulous Allison and Kris were. Oh, season 8.


  1. Okay, best blog entry yet, E! I'm gonna get me some o' that $4 wine! ;¬)

    Oh Allison, Allison.......I'm pulling out my two year old iTunes gift card and downloading your album today, girl! Oh how I've missed you. Oh how America is suffering this season. Oh how you are such a Janis/Pink rolled into one. Oh how you still need to avoid interviews, though. ;¬)

    I noticed that Chrystal did sport that "oh come on, don't make me do this lame song with these geeks" look during the group performance and LOL @ the boys singing those silly a$$ lyrics. far as who was and wasn't long as Crystal, Andrew, and your fantasy lover were safe, I really really didn't care.

    I must say though, as a genuine child of the '60's, I was pretty happy to see Tyler "the poser" Grady go. I'm sure Jim Morrison is resting easier after last night too.

    I really was shocked to see Tim Urban sit back down. He obviously was too. He looked more shocked than Peter did when he wound up with two dates at the Brady house.

    He was like "huh??"

    I was like "HUH????????"

    Anyway, Joe was so sweet and his dad's lower lip was quivering and his eyes filled with pride, as he watched his son sing his swan song.

    So...........yes I watched. Keep it real, E! I'll be back!

  2. Rusty0132/26/2010

    Joe never should have been voted off. That was just ridiculous. I'm glad I'm not the only one to notice Ashley's poor attitude after results. And I think that if the judges do a wild card call back show... that Tyler shot himself in the foot by blaming his poor performance on the judges lack of constructive criticism during Hollywood week.
    February 25, 2010
    08:10 PM PST

  3. Why thank ya Connie. I must say, I did enjoy writing this recap last night. (maybe it was that wine! four oaks. you can tell the cashier at rite aid that it comes with my high personal recommendation ... maybe he'll give ya a discount.) ;-)

    love the Jim Morrison comment and love love the Peter Brady date one. (that made me laugh out loud)

    i'll continue to try and keep it real. (someone's got to right? I mean, I think I'd have more respect for Ellen as a judge if she said, "wow, that really sucked." rather than "it was great. your great. your all great."

    is it bad that i'm kinda dreading last week? at least we have commerical breaks with kris allen sitting in his ford. (i like those better than the peformances!)

    Thanks for your comment, Rusty. Good call about the wild card week. It's true. With just the slightest eye roll, smug smile, or one little comment .. it really can turn America off. Who would want to buy his album? We see it all Idol contestants! (And we are tough critics.)

  4. oh my. please forgive me. i meant to say "you're great" not "your great" can't believe i did that! i am an embarrassed blogger. ;-)

  5. holy snikeys. and i meant i'm dreading next week. not last week. must still be traces of the wine. that, or i really am still dreading last week b/c maybe it did THAT much damage to me.

  6. Hey guys,
    Since there's only a handful of contestents that I care about, I don't even know the rest of the bunch's names so I'm a little (make that a lot) lost on some of the comments. I've got a feeling I'll be up to speed, however, as the weeks go by and there's fewer contestents. Keep up the good work. I really enjoy your blogging!

  7. Cherry3633/01/2010

    I thought I was the only one who noticed that Ashley flipped the b(#*& switch BIG TIME! What a poor loser......and Tyler wasn't much more gracious. Too bad, 'cuz I liked him before. I'm most upset about Joe....I don't think he deserved to go at all! But great're the first to be added to my favorites!
    February 28, 2010
    04:19 PM PST
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