Spoilers Spoilers Spoilers ... Bah Humbug

I feel your pain, Jake.

Well, folks -- the spoilers are out there. And I'm talking about some major ones. As most of you may know, a certain blogger by the name of realitysteve has already predicted who Bachelor Jake's

lucky(?) lady will be. Yes, I know Mr. Steve's prediction, and you better believe I ran to bodog's gaming room to see if this was an available bet. I think I would have bet the house given the accuracy of realitysteve's past predictions, but, alas, it was not a bet to be had. (Sigh.) Furthermore, I now find it pointless to put up a "Who will receive the final rose?" poll. (Double sigh.)

Ever the optimist, however, I quickly got over my Bachelor woes and thought to myself: Alright Elizabeth -- Realitysteve has insiders over there at ABC. You expected this. Buck up little tiger. You can still hold out hope for an untainted American Idol, right? ... Right?!

Well you can imagine my surprise when I recently read who the supposed top 24 are! Some surprised me. Most I have not "met" yet. One in particular caused my stomach to churn as I sat on my couch and watched him courtesy his MySpace page. (Let's just say I witnessed him singing "All Summer Long" by Kid Rock. Indeed, my face is still scrunched in a disturbed and misshapen form as I type these very words.)

This little Idol news was handed to me yesterday. Well ... maybe handed is the wrong word here. I might have found myself a bit bored come 10:00 last night. And ... I might have done a little Web-perusing, looking for juicy Idol tidbits, to fill such void. I mean, is it MY fault if my little finger has a mind of its own, having no choice but to click a link that happens to have a spoiler disclaimer? Surely not, I say.

Just felt the need to vent a little. [And don't worry ... for those of you who like your spoiler thrills, I will be posting some throughout the Idol season ... with links, mind you!]

Ah hell, if you wanna see who the possible lucky 24 are (only 21 listed), click here.

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American Idol: Rat Pack Night "Sways" My Opinions

Well our Top 5 performed the Rat Pack Standards last night, and when it was all said and done, I must say . . . I felt a little swayed. I have to use the word "swayed," first of all, because it's my clever pun on a popular song during the Rat Pack era; and secondly, because the night didn't make me into a full-blown convert -- it simply swayed me, like a gentle yet confused little branch blowing in the wind, unsure if it wants to waver on back to the safe side of "Adam & Simon," or dare to venture and possibly snap on over to the unfamiliar side of "Danny & Kara."

Sway Factor #1: Jamie Foxx is a rockin' mentor! Who ever would have thought that Mr. Foxx would mentor Rat Pack night?! Turns out, he did a kick ass job! Getting all up in Danny Gokey's grill, refusing to let "D" (nickname compliments of Mr. Foxx) detour from his emotions. Channeling "Field of Dreams" and telling Matt Giraud, "if you change the ke…

American Idol Inspirational Song Night: Crystal Bowersox Cries. I Finally Feel Something. (Recap)

Considering I kept busy on my computer all the while Idol played out tonight on my TV screen, only giving the occasional glance up to notice that Lee Dewyze got his hairs cut, Kara got her hairs styled in a flattering manner that I can't quite put my finger on as to why they were so flattering and Simon's buzz cut looked especially unflattering ... I guess you could say it was all one big unnoticeable snooze fest until Crystal "Mamasox" Bowersox took the stage. So really, all I care about commenting on is her for now.

Wicked Mic Stands and Wet Eyes: Now I don't know if Crystal got overly wrapped up in the spirit of today's date, but someone should have told her pot paraphernalia is not allowed on the Idol stage. Oh, I keed. I keed. Crystal's extraordinary mic stand was made from an old lamp with which she always used to perform in her pre-Idol days. Could that sentimentality be what brought on her sudden outburst of tears at the end of her emotional "…

American Idol Results: Adam Lambert PERFORMS!!! Oh yeah, and There Was a Double Elimination.

Okay, guys, here we go with the Idol results. Am I the only one who is sick of these results show intro package fake-outs? You know, wherein they try and make us believe like there were Holyfield vocal TKOs last night? (Cut to a judge exclamatory: "Yo, those vocals were hot!!" Then cut to Andrew Garcia holding a mic that looks as if it just turned gold right before our very eyes.) Um, am I living in some crazy Harry Potter land? Because I'm pretty sure this does not accurately reflect what went down on performance night at all. But then again, I guess if they show what really went down, it would not pump me, the viewer, up. Unlike those high voltage group sings ... those aren't watered down or lip sunk at all. Oh what's that?! Ms. Sleepy Weird-Eyed Gal Herself, Brooke White, and some dude I've never heard of are set to sing tonight?!!! Well somebody better hold me back!

Okay okay. Who peed in my Fruity Pepples, right? I am excited to see Adam …

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