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American Idol Season 9 Chicago Auditions: Shania in Shy-Town, Less Talent. More Weirdo. (Recap)

Let me start off by saying ... is it too late for the producers to replace Ellen with Shania? Homegirl killed her guest judge spot! If not Ellen, how about Kara? Or even Randy for that matter? Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed Shania, who proved to be a much needed breath of fresh air after stale Posh "the only word in my vocab is 'nice'" Spice and Mary "no nonsense" J. Blige. "Syrup and honey by duffy ... yum." The lights are off ... "but some one's home!" "You have a beautiful bottom end." Shania -- no need for any more -- you had me at yum.

I suppose we needed to find the talent somewhere in Chicago, as it was not coming from the pour souls who auditioned. Amy Lang (the girl who had her first celebrity inappropriate dream about Seacrest ... Seacrest!) and Harold Davis (the "Rocky" theme song played in his introduction clip) should have been auditioning for Broadway rather than Idol -- Lang faked a Marie Osmond faint while Davis walked away with some non-convincing tears. At least DioGuardi got her much-needed "I said something clever" fix tonight through Lang: "Randy, she's boob-boxing! She's boob-boxing!" And Davis gave us one of the funniest quotes of the night: "I'm tired of eatin' microwave dinners. I wanna eat steak."

The biggest weirdo award of the night, however, deserves to go to Brian Krause. In case you don't recognize the name -- he's the one who creepily sang Tiny Tim's "Tip Toe Through the Tulips." Wow. This guy. This is not my kind of guy. Reminding me somewhat of a cross between a gopher and a lizard, he replaced words ending in "p" with the letter "f" ("I used to sing for the troofs."). I don't know. All I know is that every time I looked at him, the only thing I could think of was the movie "Groundhog Day." I'm sorry guys, I know it's mean, but come on. ("Screw you Sergeant Heart -- I'm the next American Idol." I just had to get that gem in somewhere.)

On the other hand, some of those who stood out in a good way were Charity Vance (she sang "Summertime") and the girl who just won't quit despite all the travesty in her life, Angela Martin. I wanted to glance at the "spoiler list" (which I am only vaguely familiar with) to see if these girls make it past Hollywood Week, but I won't. Must keep the element of surprise for myself, thank you very much.

So I now leave you with these pressing questions: How did you feel about Shy-Town? Were you as impressed with Shania as I was? When did Randy start calling Simon "Sime"? Did Kara bother you considerably extra tonight as she did me? It was as if she had a clever word play quota to meet -- "It's like your song Shania! That don't impress me much." "Tip Toe out that way." And let us not forget "She's boob-boxing, Randy! Boob-boxing!" Give me more Shania. In fact, can we just call it Shania-Town? (Eat your heart out, DioGuardi!)


  1. idolrawks1231/20/2010

    i totally agree about shania! i loved the beautiful bottom end part and even randy was kind of funny there. i guess shania brings out the best in everyone...

  2. MaddysMom1/20/2010

    Chicago was the worst! Not one stood out to me ... well, maybe for the wrong reasons they did. What a disappointment. Shania WAS great though. I wish she had a permanent seat.

  3. connie1/20/2010

    When the show was over, I was like "oh it's over" not like "oh's over, dammit!"

    So, I guess mark me unimpressed.

  4. my thoughts exactly, connie. well put.


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