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American Idol Season 9 Los Angeles Auditions: It's a Judges' Panel Chick Fight! ... Nevermind Those Pesky Contestants. (Recap)

In a world of Idol where judges offer up dim-witted puns as opposed to sound and (dare I say it) helpful critiques so that they may come across as more clever, where they overly "jam" and sway all the while a poor little contestant auditions (which is probably the biggest moment of his or her life thus far, mind you) and where quite simply, they try and make it all about them (helicopter arrivals, anyone?) -- it is nice when a guest judge swoops in and biz-nitch slaps their buffoonery upside the head.


May I give you one Ms. Katy Perry. Wow. Though she may look like a pretty little package, do not be fooled. Katy Perry is that mean, popular girl who tells it like it is without a moment's hesitation, and Kara is the wannabe who is left scrambling to look cool.
  • Exhibit A: Kara (pulling a classic Pun Queen move) -- "Katy, are you hot or are you cold to [insert contestant's name]?" To which Ms. Perry mimics a drum roll with a total "wow, that is soooo original -- I've never heard that before, dumb***" look on her face. Strike one, Kara.
  • Exhibit B: Kara asks, "What happened to girl power?" and proceeds to sing "I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It." To which Ms. Perry (without even flinching) replies, "Please stop or I'll have to throw my Coke in your face." Day-um! Strike two, Kara.
  • Exhibit C: Kara, in a last-ditch effort, tries to offer up a real thoughtful critique at the end of the night, after Chris Golightly's performance: "Chris, you're one of my favorites today, if not my favorite. And, and the reason is that I think that we may look back at this audition and go, um, (pause) wow. Because you're the kind of kid who has just enough talent and just enough of a story and pain and stuff that you've gone though in your life to really connect with it." To which Ms. Perry astutely points out, "This is not a Lifetime movie, sweetheart." Yowzas! Break out the cat claws! Strike three, Kara.
Alas, with nothing left, Kara goes into her gangsta mode (something she did twice tonight), rolling her head around, saying "Well you told me!" (Um, yeah, Kara. Actually, she really did. But don't worry, you'll always have Buffoon Number Two to fawn all over. Did anyone else notice Randy picking up on the Kara talk? "Go lightly, Chris." Buffoon Number One probably thinking, "Now why didn't I think of that pun?") So I guess the verdict here is that while apparently pepperoni sandwiches are in, girl power is so definitely out. What may be an even more important lesson to take away from tonight's episode is that critiques are good ... just make sure you have a logical and original point of view!
Hell, even Avril Lavigne (who is probably 10 years Kara's junior and even more so Randy's) offered up better critiques. May I present Mary Powers' audition (rocker Pat Benetar chick):
  • Avril: "You do have a character to your voice, a cool tone, it's raspy, and it is punk rock, so I think it's cool."
  • Kara: "Rock it girl."
  • Randy: "Little girl, big voice. Cool."
Now I ask you, whose critique had a little more weight to it? But wait! Kara did compare the ridiculous Austin Fullmer to rock legend, Mick Jagger. I digress.

If you're thinking by now, enough about the judges and Kara-bashing, Elizabeth -- isn't this show about the contestants? I reply, one would certainly hope! But despite there being 22 golden tickets awarded, there really was only one standout to me. (Not surprising given the fact that they only showed about three good performances.) Now if you have read the post immediatly preceding this one, you will not be shocked when I declare that Andrew Garcia was by far the star of the night. (Sorry DioGuardi.)

Garcia uniquely chose to sing "Sunday Morning" by Maroon 5. And I say his vocals stand alone! (The back story about him growing up around gangs, his cute and supportive dad, and the fact that Andrew just wants to provide a good life for his family was simply the icing on the cake.) Sime approved him as a "genuinely genuinely good singer." Sime also said "I can tell you like music. Good song choice." YES! YES! YES! It is about the music. And if this guy is going to go far in this competition as I am banking on, two of the most important qualities he can possess are a passion for music as well as the ability to make smart song choices (Kris Allen, anyone?). (I would be amiss if I didn't mention Buffoon Number Two's take on Garcia here, who almost revived the stale ol' phone book comparison. "It's like I always say. If you can sing, you can sing anything." Noooo, Randy! Don't do it!)

So what did you think of the night? Was the show upstaged by the judges? And did you love the Katy smack down or are you siding with the unpopular Kara? How about Avril's cat ears? Did Jason Greene make you feel equally as dirty as he did for Ms. Perry? Which reminds me, how great was it when he handed Seacrest his phone number saying, "Call me, Ryan. Anytime. I'm serious." Did you think Neil Goldstein (first audition of the night) was perhaps a serial killer in his former life as soon as you saw him looking blankly at his reflection, absently drawing a heart with lipstick on the mirror? And how 'bout those cameos?! Did anyone else notice the Sanjaya crying girl right off the bat like me? And did anyone else catch the hidden cameo by a former Project Runway contestant?! WTF? He must need work! Do weigh in below on these pressing issues. Meanwhile, I'm going to go say a prayer, thanking the Lord he brought Ms. Katy Perry into my life.

Comments

  1. fancygal1/26/2010

    I thought Katy Perry was a little harsh. It was kind of tense at some times. And I agree with what you said about Andrew! Can't wait to see him in Hollywood. I wasn't so sold on Golightly.

    ReplyDelete
  2. So glad somoeone finally put kara in her place!! But the episode as a whole was pure crap. Where was all the talent?! And that was Daniel Franco from Runway! Thought I was the only one who noticed!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. shannon l1/26/2010

    Great recap. Better than the episode.

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  4. I completely agree with your recap but I didn't like Avril. I thought Katy was good though. I loved the 1st episode this season and each episode since has not been as great. I wish we could watch the show together you would have me rollin. I did see Sanjayas girl-haha. Love your blog and miss you Bitty!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Elizabeth1/27/2010

    thanks for your comments. (megan, you wouldn't want to watch it with me ... it can get real ugly at times.) miss you too!

    and thank you, M.C! I drew a blank on Daniel Franco's name. (I think he is the one in my look-a-like post to K.D. Lang). Ha!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Elizabeth1/27/2010

    Yes, in fact he is! I just checked.

    http://www.myrealitybit.com/2009/03/its-look-like-thursday.html

    ReplyDelete
  7. connie1/27/2010

    Wow, you covered it girl! I have both Katy and Avril on my iPod, so I like them musically and last night I admired their independent outspoken input. Avril being young might have let them sway her a bit, but when she stood her ground about the dude with 3 kids and how he'd manage as a rock star, I took notice.

    Of course you know I liked the rocker chick, but they never last with America voting.

    Do you think we will all look back at Chris's performance last night and go "wow"??? OMG seriously how amazing would that be???

    I guess my biggest disappointment of the night, was that Kara didn't mention "girl power" one more time. I wanted to see her get "coked up"!

    ReplyDelete
  8. first of all, connie, let me start out by saying i love the fact you have avril lavigne and katy perry on your ipod.

    second, i agree with avril making me forego my low expectations of her as a guest judge as soon as she disagreed with sime on that guy. her own opinion ... go figure! but i have to say that i kind of disagreed with her implication that a family would hinder idol success ... what about Chris Daughtry?

    and yeah, i definitely was not jumping out of my seat over golightly. why all the hype?

    lastly, love the "coked up" joke. her whole girl power schtick makes her appear very simple-minded and extremely out-dated. (by the way, your note also got me thinking, and I had to go back and capitalize the C in coke)

    ReplyDelete
  9. sabina black1/28/2010

    I don't think that the show upstaged by the judges.Katy smack is better. Neil Goldstein was a serial killer ! :) I watch this show in dish tv provided by www.theamericandishtv.com/.

    ReplyDelete

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