My Reality Bit

As I sit and drink my vanilla chai tea, while a sweet sleeping teacup poodle lies peacefully on my chest, I feel a sense of calm about me. So I have decided to write about the Dallas installment of Idol with just that -- a sense of calm. Especially after enduring the LA judges' panel ugliness and overdosing on circus-worthy auditions, I need a little normalcy. And despite the producer's sad attempt to stage an O.K. Corral reenactment between Neil Patrick Harris and Sime Cowell, I say it's high time to focus on the contestants. Remember them?

I'm even going to set aside my usual Kara-bashing banter because after seeing her somewhat subdued behavior throughout the first quarter of the show, I found myself feeling sorry for her; I sensed that she must still be worn out from the Katy "go ef your girl power" Perry beat down.

So without further ado, here are my four note-worthy contestants of the night:

1. Barney Girl Done Got Herself a Whip and She's All Growns Up. Erica Rhodes, who was a self-described "child-like"(?) star on Barney & Friends (I thought she was a child then) auditioned to En Vogue's "Free Your Mind" -- complete with a whip, black dominatrix skin-tight mini and Edward Scissorhand-esque boots. And who could blame her? She was just trying to send the message that "Barney kids grow up." To which NPH hilariously punctuated: "To be dirty little girls." And speaking of hilariousness during this audition, did any of you fellow Idol-Addicts happen to catch what Simon muffled after asking her "What's the big dream here?" Despite my five rewinds, I just couldn't decipher. And despite the somewhat disturbed feeling I took away from Erica's audition (and her, in my opinion, meek voice), the judges put her through to Hollywood because of her looks, I mean, brave effort.

2. A Weird Elephant in the Room? Dave Pittman, who competently sang Sam Cooke's "Bring It on Home to Me" will probably be remembered more so if I say he was the one with Tourette syndrome. Even though he stated from the get-go to the camera that it's a miracle it doesn't show when he sings, I'll admit that I found myself waiting for the slightest traces of it. And I fear that I will be doing this from here on out with him. While he really didn't show any signs during his actual song, NPH laid it on out there by asking, "Weird elephant in the room -- do you have Tourettes?" First of all, what if Dave didn't? Secondly, wouldn't this be something that is indicated on the judges' little bio sheets they constantly glance at as contestants step onto the audition-stage floor? But I digress. NPH thinks Pittman is "crazy brave" and Sime thinks people will like him. But Randy offered up the best critique, eloquently saying "Dude, I'm gonna say yes." Oh wait, I guess he didn't. Nonetheless, Dave Pittman is through to Hollywood.

3. A Clever Ditty Wins With Bitty (a nickname of mine). Yes, I am partial to the creative little ditties that every once in a while surface during the Idol auditions. Todrick Hall is an excellent example of this. "Todrick is my name, and I'm here to play a part in your game. Hopped a plane, took a train just to claim my 15 minutes of fame . . . " His audition kind of reminded me of last season's Leneshe, who sang her self-penned little ditty, "Nati." Remember her? Although I think somewhere in his song Todrick referred to Randy as a "bump on a log," Buffoon Number Two (oops! sorry, I mean Mr. Jackson) found it to be "cute." Let me say that again. "Cute." Yes, "cute" was the word the dawg, who sported a t-shirt that read "Dude.", used to describe the likable Todrick's audition. Despite guest judge, Joe Jonas, looking less than impressed, Mr. Hall is through to Hollywood.

4. I'm Confused. Am I in Agreement with Kara's "Confused" Comment? My last note-worthy contestant of the night is Maegan Wright (wore a t-shirt that read "Break the Rules"). She also had the adorable, supportive little brother who "raised the roof" for her. Maegan sang "To Make You Feel My Love," and I'm wondering if I'm becoming delusional because I kind of liked when Kara (notice, I'm calling her Kara?) said she was "confused" by Maegan's audition. I was a bit confused by her too! Although, something tells me Kara's depth went as far as being confused my Maegan's wardrobe. Kindly telling Maegan that when she walked in, she thought she'd be a "joke," Kara found herself colored confused once Maegan "opened her mouth." I, on the other hand, was more confused with Maegan's unexpected phrasing. I noticed this as soon as she changed "face" ("when the rain is blowin' in your face") to a minor note. And although it was a little rushed in parts, I surprisingly found myself very pleased with Ms. Maegan's performance.

So what say you? Who were your favorites of the night? And I'm sorry, but I gotta do it: What was up with Kara ridiculing Vanessa Wright (hot pink outfit girl) for doing a "Britney thing" with her head. I'm sorry, don't you do that pretty much every other audition, Kara?! Especially to the ones you like?! Oh, no. Getting worked up. Serenity now, Elizabeth. Okay. All better. And what did you think about Christian Spear (the last girl of the night who is also a Leukemia survivor)? As much as I really wanted to like her, I wasn't crazy about the whole Melinda Doolittle-like gestures she was doing with her head and hands. That's it for now. 'Til next week!