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Showing posts from January, 2010

News about Jason and Molly ... if you care

Eewww. Former Bachelor Creep-o, Jason Mesnick, and his "lucky" fiance, Molly-I-don't-know-her-last-name (nor do I care to find out), are set to wed on March 8th. And I hope you're sitting down, because guess what ... they're going to do so on national TV! Surprise, surprise. I'm sure I'll probably end up watching, even though these two make me want to stab myself in the eye with a rusty spoon. How about you? Will you support this holy union?

American Idol Season 9 Dallas Auditions: Serenity Now ... Time to Focus on the Talent (Recap)

As I sit and drink my vanilla chai tea, while a sweet sleeping teacup poodle lies peacefully on my chest, I feel a sense of calm about me. So I have decided to write about the Dallas installment of Idol with just that -- a sense of calm. Especially after enduring the LA judges' panel ugliness and overdosing on circus-worthy auditions, I need a little normalcy. And despite the producer's sad attempt to stage an O.K. Corral reenactment between Neil Patrick Harris and Sime Cowell, I say it's high time to focus on the contestants. Remember them?

I'm even going to set aside my usual Kara-bashing banter because after seeing her somewhat subdued behavior throughout the first quarter of the show, I found myself feeling sorry for her; I sensed that she must still be worn out from the Katy "go ef your girl power" Perry beat down.

So without further ado, here are my four note-worthy contestants of the night:

1. Barney Girl Done Got Herself a Whip and She's All Growns …

American Idol Season 9 Los Angeles Auditions: It's a Judges' Panel Chick Fight! ... Nevermind Those Pesky Contestants. (Recap)

In a world of Idolwhere judges offer up dim-witted puns as opposed to sound and (dare I say it) helpful critiques so that they may come across as more clever, where they overly "jam" and sway all the while a poor little contestant auditions (which is probably the biggest moment of his or her life thus far, mind you) and where quite simply, they try and make it all about them (helicopter arrivals, anyone?) -- it is nice when a guest judge swoops in and biz-nitch slaps their buffoonery upside the head.

May I give you one Ms.Katy Perry. Wow. Though she may look like a pretty little package, do not be fooled. Katy Perry is that mean, popular girl who tells it like it is without a moment's hesitation, and Kara is the wannabe who is left scrambling to look cool.
Exhibit A: Kara (pulling a classic Pun Queen move) -- "Katy, are you hot or are you cold to [insert contestant's name]?" To which Ms. Perry mimics a drum roll with a total "wow, that is soooo original…

American Idol Tonight: I Shall See Stars in LA Auditioner Andrew Garcia

Call it a hunch -- call it a gut instinct -- but there is a guy by the name of Andrew Garcia who we will see sing his little heart out tonight at the Los Angeles round of auditions. (I saw him in the promos last week.) This cat has officially caught my eye . . . something about him. He intrigues me so much, that I am throwing this post up, touting him as someone who I think will go very far in this competition . . . (maybe even all the way?).

I don't do this kind of thing often, Andrew (Mr. Lambert aside), so please make me be the first blogger to have already predicted the Next. American. Idol.

Look-A-Like of the Week

Left: Former Celebrity Apprentice contestant (what else does she do?) Brande Roderick Right: Ashleigh, who is currently vying for Jake's love on The Bachelor

The Jersey Shore ... May I Have Some More (please)?

Well since MTV viewers gave The Jersey Shore two big fist pumps up (the season finale brought in 4.8 million viewers, which is more than tripled the audience of the series debut), there has not surprisingly been talks of a season 2.

Only this time, the lovable guidos and guidettes are demanding $10,000 each an episode (quite the raise from the couple hundred they received for season 1). But the network isn't so sure yet. Something tells me though that Snickers and company will be the ones committing the robbery. (If you don't speak nu-joisey like me, that means the new-found stars will prevail.)

Yeah, the greed kind of turns me off, but you know you'll watch (as will I)! How can you not love this shiz? With the exception of the insanely jealous Sammi Sweetheart, I find these kids to be friggin' awesome and high-larious. I just hope it maintains its rawness and doesn't become a trashier reincarnate of The Hills.

(By the way, if you don't watch, like or support thi…


So I ran across this picture on, and I sincerely apologize, but I just had to share it with you. I mean, how scary IS this? So many things wrong with it ....

Kristin thinks: Oh what a cute contestant.
Kara thinks: I think I just found me dinner for tonight. Yum.

American Idol Season 9 Orlando Auditions: Trying to Find My Happy Place (Recap)

As I have been slightly (in Simon terms) "underwhelmed" with the Idol auditions of late, here's a new, fun little game I like to play. It's called: "Let's see how many times Pun Queen thinks she's funny by coming up with creative little plays on words (i.e., "boob-boxing") and/or by taking a song's title or lyrics and using same in witty little ways." In case you were wondering -- yes, I invented this game. And for those of you who might also be wondering who Pun Queen is, I'll give you a hint ... her mom makes a "mean saw-us." (Keep saying it. You'll get it.)

Alright. It's showtime!
24 minutes in, and I have grown worried as my ears have yet to hear the clever banter I have come to love. Ah -- there it is -- our first one of the night, folks!: "Jermaine -- you got something to smile about." (He made it through to Hollywood and he sang ... I'll give you one guess ... "Smile"!)
Waiting for mor…

American Idol Season 9 Chicago Auditions: Shania in Shy-Town, Less Talent. More Weirdo. (Recap)

Let me start off by saying ... is it too late for the producers to replace Ellen with Shania? Homegirl killed her guest judge spot! If not Ellen, how about Kara? Or even Randy for that matter? Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed Shania, who proved to be a much needed breath of fresh air after stale Posh "the only word in my vocab is 'nice'" Spice and Mary "no nonsense" J. Blige. "Syrup and honey by duffy ... yum." The lights are off ... "but some one's home!" "You have a beautiful bottom end." Shania -- no need for any more -- you had me at yum.

I suppose we needed to find the talent somewhere in Chicago, as it was not coming from the pour souls who auditioned. Amy Lang (the girl who had her first celebrity inappropriate dream about Seacrest ... Seacrest!) and Harold Davis (the "Rocky" theme song played in his introduction clip) should have been auditioning for Broadway rather than Idol -- Lang faked a Marie Osmond faint wh…

Spoilers Spoilers Spoilers ... Bah Humbug

I feel your pain, Jake.
Well, folks -- the spoilers are out there. And I'm talking about some major ones. As most of you may know, a certain blogger by the name of realitysteve has already predicted who Bachelor Jake's lucky(?) lady will be. Yes, I know Mr. Steve's prediction, and you better believe I ran to bodog's gaming room to see if this was an available bet. I think I would have bet the house given the accuracy of realitysteve's past predictions, but, alas, it was not a bet to be had. (Sigh.) Furthermore, I now find it pointless to put up a "Who will receive the final rose?" poll. (Double sigh.)
Ever the optimist, however, I quickly got over my Bachelor woes and thought to myself: Alright Elizabeth -- Realitystevehas insiders over there at ABC. You expected this. Buck up little tiger. You can still hold out hope for an untainted American Idol, right? ... Right?!
Well you can imagine my surprise when I recently read who the supposed top 24 are! Some sur…

Just L-I-V-I-N the Dream

In case you missed it, click above to watch "General" Larry Platt's performance of his smash hit, "Pants on the Ground" on The View. (Love the Brett Favre locker room part as well as Larry giving the thumbs up for just a little too long during the interview segment. I could just eat him!)

Look-A-Like of the Week!

It's time for the Look-A-Like of the week again! (I'll try and have one for you every Monday.) Left: Actress, Jodie Foster Right: "I'm going to boil your bunny" Michelle, from The Bachelor

The Little Ditty that Just Won't Quitty: Larry Platt's "Pants On The Ground"

Getting more than his 15 minutes, "Pants on the Ground" (and I use this next term loosely) songwriter, "General" Larry Platt, will be on The View this Monday. Be honest, you know you sung the song to yourself at least once today. Now I might tune in for Larry, but count me out once the hyenas chime in.

American Idol's Season 9 (and 8) Justin Williams ... Now This is Interesting

So I came across some scoops on AI's season 9, Justin Williams -- a contestant already receiving attention due to his standout "Feeling Good" Boston audition and back story (he's a cancer survivor). What I know (and maybe you do too) is that Justin Williams was also a season 8 Hollywood Week contender. In fact, he was in the group "White Chocolate." You remember ... that cool group who did the a cappella version of Michael Jackson's "I Want You Back." The one that also starred Matt Giraud and season 8 winner, Kris Allen? Yeah. That one. In case you are still scratching your head, click here.

Now I was curious as to why AI chose to completely ignore this little tidbit, introducing Williams three nights ago as if he was a complete stranger. I mean, don't they usually point out when a failed contestant of yesterday comes back and tries, tries again? The answer is yes. Sure they do! So why not do this with Williams?

After a little digging, I fo…

American Idol Season 9 in Atlanta: Hotlanta Brings the Sob Story (and the Next William Hung?) (Recap)

Call yourself a cool cat, with the gold in your mouth, hat turned sideways, lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground. Pants on the ground. Pants on the ground. Giddey-yup! -- Larry Platt (the next William Hung)

Sorry to those of you who may have just gotten that song out of your head, but I had to do it. I promise I won't do it again. Yes, last night did not disappoint in giving us a few highlights -- the major one being Vanessa Wolfe, "the country girl from the country," as Randy so cleverly ordained her (I guess he's good for something, right?).

Oh, Vanessa. Where do I begin? Let me count the ways you managed to turn me into a sobbing mess over my lunch break as I watched you, sitting on the edge of my couch, lookin' like a fool with my pants on the ground. (Oops. Sorry.) Was it the fact you got your hot pink dress for $4.50 from the dollar store? (By the way, did you run into Skeeeboski there? He's just like the dollar store, after all.) Was it…

The Mighty Idol is Upon Us!

Well hello there, my long-lost readers. I hope you are not too far gone from me, since we all had to endure the awful wanna-be shows (some even twice! SYTYCD, anyone?) during Idol's hiatus. I gotta admit -- I was somewhat worried last night. With Paula gone, news breaking of Simon's looming departure and the ever-present thought of "will this season even come close to last year's?" lurking in my mind, I have to say that when I turned on my TV at 8:00 last night, it was with some trepidation.

But then, all of that Idol excitement came rushing back as soon as I saw the Boston stadium filled with no-names declaring "No. I am the next American Idol!" All that gushy sentiment of how this show can turn an everyday Joe-Shmo into an Adam Lambert superstar began infusing my blood, getting my Idol heart all pumped up again.
Since I typically don't like to write full posts until we get it down to the top 13, I will leave you with a few audition standouts. As of …