Skip to main content

The Bachelorette: Wake Up and Smell the Roses, Jillian!

Oh for the love of god, could somebody please make sense for me the following confusions I have after watching last night's jam-packed episode of The Bachelorette?


Confusion #1: Why did Jillian keep Reid over Jesse? True, Jesse may be an "ice-box" who is a hard one to crack, as his cynical woolly-mammoth brother pointed out, but Reid's response of "yeah" after his dad asked him if he really cared for Jillian, was far more icy. The "yeah" even had that high-tone inflection to it .. you know, when somebody is trying to convince themself of something that they know has no chance in hell of being true?!


Confusion #2: Why do I not believe goody-two-shoes Jake came to visit Jillian on Wes' hometown date in Austin on his own merit? It reeked of producer conspiracy. I mean, how fake did his "conversation" with Tanner P. seem? Normally, you would hear the voice on the other end. (Perhaps Tanner just had a mouth-full of toes and couldn't talk. Ew.)


Confusion #3: Why am I all of a sudden finding myself a TOTAL Jillian FAN!?! I have seen the light and am over the whole accent and nose thing! I think the following occurrences in last night's episode have given me a whole new respect for our little squealy Jill. 1) Jillian sticks to being her good ol' "hillbilly" self when faced with the uncomfortable Kiptyn Clan. I don't know if it was the way she proudly claimed "And I'd do it again!" after falling prey to their hilarious little hot tub joke (gee, that doesn't get old, does it?), or if it was the way she coyly waved to Kip's mom as she was about to get in said hot tub with said mom's son, but all of a sudden, I was loving our bachelorette!; also 2) Jillian just seems (sorry for the over-used word) "real." Did anyone else notice how she called it "din" when she said "we're going to have to explain to them why we're late for din." Come on, Jillian, why you gotta be so cute! I wanted to hate. But you have made it hard. (And my heart just went completely out to her when she unwittingly danced to Wes' song that we have heard for the 18 millionth time, in her little red boots, holding her little beer, all the while, blowing the a-hole kisses.)


Confusion #4: Why do good girls always go for the bad boys?! Sigh. Jillian picks Wes over our adorable break-dancing (twin) Michael, who couldn't have been any cuter when he recited the three things he would tell Jillian if he got to see her again ("1. She's beautiful." 2. "I'm going to miss her." 3. "Just be happy."). Tear to my eye. Alas, Michael's sweetness couldn't make up for the lack of romantic chemistry, and Jillian, ultimately ingoring the pilot's cry, gives ol' Wes another shot. Wes. Oh. I curse the word.
Confusion #5: Ed is back?! Huh? Just when I thought I (and Jillian) had had enough, Ed decides to follow his heart and return. I'm excited though. Something about him ... I like.


So that leaves us with (fickle) Ed, no spark Reid, perfect Kiptyn (well, except for the family), and Wa-wa-wa-Wes. There. I said it! So what did you all think of last night's episode? Were you just as shocked when Ed came back? Did you then feel like you had been run over twice when our clueless Jill doled out another rose for Wes? Lastly, did you want to punch old Kip's mom in the face like me, or perhaps, just smear it in the lasagna?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

American Idol Inspirational Song Night: Crystal Bowersox Cries. I Finally Feel Something. (Recap)

Considering I kept busy on my computer all the while Idol played out tonight on my TV screen, only giving the occasional glance up to notice that Lee Dewyze got his hairs cut, Kara got her hairs styled in a flattering manner that I can't quite put my finger on as to why they were so flattering and Simon's buzz cut looked especially unflattering ... I guess you could say it was all one big unnoticeable snooze fest until Crystal "Mamasox" Bowersox took the stage. So really, all I care about commenting on is her for now.

Wicked Mic Stands and Wet Eyes: Now I don't know if Crystal got overly wrapped up in the spirit of today's date, but someone should have told her pot paraphernalia is not allowed on the Idol stage. Oh, I keed. I keed. Crystal's extraordinary mic stand was made from an old lamp with which she always used to perform in her pre-Idol days. Could that sentimentality be what brought on her sudden outburst of tears at the end of her emotional "…

American Idol Results: Adam Lambert PERFORMS!!! Oh yeah, and There Was a Double Elimination.

Okay, guys, here we go with the Idol results.  Am I the only one who is sick of these results show intro package fake-outs?  You know, wherein they try and make us believe like there were Holyfield vocal TKOs last night?  (Cut to a judge exclamatory:  "Yo, those vocals were hot!!"  Then cut to Andrew Garcia holding a mic that looks as if it just turned gold right before our very eyes.)  Um, am I living in some crazy Harry Potter land?  Because I'm pretty sure this does not accurately reflect what went down on performance night at all.  But then again, I guess if they show what really went down, it would not pump me, the viewer, up.  Unlike those high voltage group sings ... those aren't watered down or lip sunk at all.  Oh what's that?!  Ms. Sleepy Weird-Eyed Gal Herself, Brooke White, and some dude I've never heard of are set to sing tonight?!!!  Well somebody better hold me back! 

Okay okay.  Who peed in my Fruity Pepples, right?  I am excited to see Adam …

American Idol: R & B Night ... What a Difference an Usher Makes!

Well three cheers for Usher, is alls I got to say about last night's American Idol, R & B Night. If only all of them would have heeded the advice of the sunglassed one, it may have been a perfect night. But alas, Tim Urban remains unchanged, and so I'll settle for a vastly improved night instead.
Usher on Lee: Believe in Yourself. Although he may think he still belongs in the paint shop, Lee Dewyze really has a shot at winning this whole shin dig. Oh, simply the song title alone "Treat Her Like a Lady" mixed in with that gritty voice = one hot and bothered Elizabeth. You can treat me like a lady, Lee. Any ol' time. (Okay, sorry if just made anyone feel uncomfortable there.) Usher and I just ask one thing of you: Believe in yourself! Simon told you this may be the night your life changes forever, yet I still think you will come out next week with the ever present look of fear in those glistening baby blues. Not to mention, your desire to eat your guitar pick ri…