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The Bachelorette: Vancouver, Vulgarity and Girlfriend-Gate

So how about that Bachelorette last night? It was so good, I had to put up a post.

Last night's highlights included the men leaving the bunkhouse, and, like the Jeffersons, they moved on up to a dee-lux bachelor pad in Vancouver. Being that this is Jillian's hometown, she of course was ready to greet her men with the old stand-by squeal, while unfortunately wearing one of the most heinous dresses I've ever seen! It makes me wonder if these guys are really feeling our little girl-next-door, or are they just in it for the free helicopter rides?

The first guy sent packing last night was Mark ... or was it Mike? I kept getting these two guys confused. Anyhoo, after boozing it up on a mountaintop (wherein Jillian pulled a Cher Horowitz and stepped into some bad lighting -- rewatch if you don't know what I'm talking about ... Jillian looked like she aged about 15 years in this segment!), it is the baseball camp owner who must ride the gondola of doom home. (Hey, it beats a bus!) The pizza guy somehow managed to stay ... probably because of his sob story about having his heart broken ... something which Jill is all too familiar with.

And after a "who-done-it" Clue-inspired cocktail party, Jillian also sends home crazy Dave and light-in-the-loafers, Juan (shout out to you Steph.) Oh, crazy Dave. This guy proved that first impression roses may not be all they were once cracked up to be. Storming the house, Incredible Hulk style, dropping constant "f-bombs", throwing ice into empty highballs, and proving at a moment's notice, he would rip Juan's face apart ... it's no wonder why Jill cut him. Oh wait. She didn't cut him after that moment. No, Jillian thought she would wait one more episode so that Dave could compliment her by calling her a "liar" after she did not seem to share in his "ass" enthusiasm. Dave also revealed that he loved how Jillian "doesn't give a f**k" because she just sits there with her "t**ts" hanging out. Wait a minute. You mean these are NOT terms of endearment? Huh.

But it was fitting that Dave was sent home packing alongside his nemesis, Juan. And while I was afraid of possible altercations while this duo exited, it didn't compare to the fear I found myself having as a result of Tanner P.(aranoid). Hello?! Was anyone else afraid he was going to pull out some pistols he possibly had hidden from the Western movie date, and shoot up the place? I mean, homeboy was a little on edge to say the least. His eyes all crazy and red. Exclaiming "I swear to God, Juan, if you f**king look at me one more time ...." Alls I gots to say is, YIKES! This loose cannon, I feel, is one to watch out for in future episodes. The little foot-freaky snitch might be his own demise.

So what did you all think? Does one of Jillian's gentlemen callers secretly have a girlfriend back home? Or are all of the guys just jealous of Wes and trying to spread nasty rumors about him like a bunch of high school girls? Did you all of a sudden find yourself developing a major sweet spot for wine maker, Jesse, despite that unfortunate white newsboy cap? And how about break-dancer Michael on the curling date? That s**t was hilarious! Lastly, how much did you relate to our little Jill when she did her happy dance behind the door after kissing Kiptyn goodnight? We've all done it ... haven't we?


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