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The Miseducation of Megan Corkrey


For those of you not 'hep' (shout-out to you, mom) to the music of Lauryn Hill, my title for this post stems from her album titled "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill." Since Megan Corkrey has decided to not let go of the self-indulgence she so blatantly displayed last night, I thought it only fitting to keep in the spirit of things.

Man, that ENTER I just hit to get to this paragraph really has made me realize just how steamed I am at her. It was quite the hard ENTER.

And there it was again. Okay, okay. Oh my, my, my. Where do I begin? I have notes about how cute Kris's sexy face was. I have notes about how confused people must be by Lady Ga Ga. I even have notes about how David Cook's nose tip kept casually grazing the upper portion of his microphone during his pre-recorded performance.

But you know what? I can't even comment on any of those things. My mind is on a one-way track because it has been taken over by the demonic powers of Megan "Joy" Corkrey.

Oh Megan. Where did this miseducation of yourself all go so wrong? Using my psychoanalytic skills, I'm going to guess that it was the day you performed "Rockin' Robin" and did the bird caws. Yes, this seemed to be a continuing theme with you tonight ("Don't forget the caw." "Don't forget the caw." And do I even need to discuss the flying bird caw over to the dreaded silver chair?) I picture you, Megan, in my therapy room, lying on the couch, telling me about the day perhaps a large bird flew above your head and took one, big, gi-nor-mous shat all over your pretty long locks. Could this be the root of your problem, Megan? So the only way you could deal with this memory was by cawing after your "Rockin' Robin" performance? And then once everyone started commenting on your cawing, it became immortalized, and so your next coping mechanism was to become the jokster?

Yes, this must be it. Bringing us to present day when you decide to saucer your eyes out, so that they become as big as Matt Giraud's forehead thing, and you becoming as robotic as Deanna Pappas.

If not a wretched bird incident, I'm going to have to go with my second diagnosis and say this has been the result of fem-bots taking over your body. Yes, this sounds more legit. I do believe you have been possessed by some other life form. I say this, readers, because let me share some of my notes with you that I was taking during the results show:

"Megan has gone off her rocker. I'm worried about what she might do."

It was at this point, as soon as I was done writing those exact words, that my DVR starts going ballistic on me. My notes continue:

"I am convinced my DVR is being possessed by Megan Corkrey and her evil demons."

This went on for quite some time. I thought that if my DVR self-rewound the "Mixed Up and I Think I Like It" Ford music video one more time and that awful Journey group lip-sync again, I would have no other choice but to throw my TV out the window.

Notes continue:

"Batteries dead or my DVR has been possessed. Okay this is no longer a joke. I tested my batteries on some other household items, and I know that they work. Be gone demon! Be gone!"

Oh my, it is not until I write these words that my DVR starts working again.

Schew. I am saved.

But were the other Idols scared of their own possible demise? Notice how no one dared do an impersonation of Corkrey during the light-hearted imitation segment. And did anyone else see the way she ordered Kris to stand on his mark when they had to take the stage together? Did anyone else hear a strange noise after Kris was announced as safe and when they showed ol' wifey in the audience? If you missed it, I suggest you rewind. It's like finding an old Disney hidden innuendo; except this time, we have Corkrey putting on some kind of hex.

Well, Megan ultimately says she doesn't care, leaving the judges no other choice but to not care about her. The miseducation continues. So wait, no judge's save, but we still have to be tormented with her singing "Turn Your Lights Down Low" again?!?! It is at this point, Megan has completely turned to the world of the fem-bots, and has decided that the rest of the human world is against her. So what else does she do? Gives us some absolutely ludicrous performance, crawling on the stage, getting fearfully close to a non-amused Simon, and proving that someone who could have possibly been great, has turned into a train wreck right before our very eyes. (Was anyone else having Dennis Rodman/Celebrity Apprentice flashbacks at this point?)

Well, I am officially exhausted. Too tired to even expend my energy on the fact that Allison was in the bottom three again. Too exhausted to comment on how cool Lady Ga Ga's eye zipper was. And too exhausted to even fin . . . oh no, I think I have been drugged by evil fem-bots.

Comments

  1. Becky O.4/01/2009

    My hears have been saved! Free at last! Free at last!!!
    Ha ha ha!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Megan seemed like she was on drugs or something tonight. But she is sooo pretty, I be we see her on tv somehow.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous4/01/2009

    omg, hilarious recap.
    i am so glad megan is going home!!
    she did not deserve to be on that stage.
    what does allison have to do to stay out of that bottom three?!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jackie Girl4/01/2009

    The next one needs to be Anoop or Chris.
    Megan ruined any chance she had tonight by acting like a total idiot! it does seem like she has been taken over by something!!
    isn't it funny how simon was such a fan of hers and then at the end, it seemed like he couldn't wait for her to go?!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ha Ha! I am cracking up. Megan's behavior was very erratic. And I agree, Jackie, she completely ruined any chance she had.
    Bye bye Megan! We won't miss you!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous4/01/2009

    Bye Bye Birdie!!!!
    Flap those wings on outta here!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. connie4/02/2009

    I truly think she wanted to get back to the nest.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous4/02/2009

    Great review. I thought maybe it was just me...I'm SO thankful not to have to watch her dance (the twisting thing?!?) again. Hopefully EVER!

    The girl IS drop-dead gorgeous and has a cool voice, maybe she just needs to mature a little and definitely DEFINITELY needs dance lessons.

    Watching her sing AND dance is just painful though. Good riddens...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Danny Fan4/02/2009

    I think Megan is really pretty, and at times, her voice is really good. At times, I stress!

    I don't know why she never played up her jazz element really and instead, picked all of these left-field songs.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous4/02/2009

    I loved how Anoop joked about Kris's side-mouthed thing.

    I was a little nervous when Allison started imitating Danny, but I love Allison!
    I am so sick of her being in the bottom three too!

    Great recap, by the way. Megan possessed by fem-bots! Ha! Could be. . .

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thanks guys. Yes, Megan definitely has some maturing to do. It's a shame too because I was really rooting for the girl.

    I think she really could have made it as an "artist", and now I fear that she has just become one big joke.

    Quoteth the Raven: Will she be "nevermore"?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous4/02/2009

    nah, she'll show up in films or something like that. pretty face.

    ReplyDelete
  13. ShutUpKara D.4/02/2009

    it's killing me how they lip-sync in the group performances!! it is so obvious.

    I thought Simon's quick smack-down to Megan, not letting her sing for her life or whatever, was a little too personal. it was like they didn't allow her just because she kind of insulted simon.

    that shouldn't take away from the fact that maybe she still cares about the competition.

    but it seems there towards the end, she really just wants to get home to her son.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Yes, I thought about that too. For a split, tiny mil-a-second.

    I'm glad they didn't let her be 'saved', and the reason is because her whole attitude and vibe gave off the stench that she had no desire to stay in the competition. it appeared to be one big joke to her. Maybe she didn't feel that way in (as Paula says) 'her heartest of hearts', but that is the impression she gave off.

    she has a lot of maturing to do.
    and unfortunately, if she would have stuck around longer, and maybe even became the next idol, she would have been able to provide a better life for little Ryder.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous4/02/2009

    the best part about group sing was scott's little part: um . . maybe they should have told him where that microphone was!
    funny recap. i'll be tuning in for more. :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Smooch4/02/2009

    Ha! And why didn't Randy grace the stage for the Journey number?
    Scott singing into the invisible microphone was classic.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I do really want to know what that little demonic voice was around the :34 minute mark.
    It ain't right.

    Also, I noticed that when Megan, Kris and Matt are all sent to the stage, Megan says, "This is ruining my plan."

    Her plan being, I'm going to get kicked out tonight everyone, so watch me make a total mockery out of everything and don't forget the caws for my send out!!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous4/03/2009

    OK, here's your not so "hep" mom adding another thought. Maybe Megan really didn't care about the idol business anymore if it meant continued separation from her little 2 year old boy; maybe her corkiness was due in part to being a good mother. Huh? Just a thought?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh, I'm proud we have figured out the comment section. ;-)

    Yes, could be. I like the devil's advocate thing here. I just don't buy this being a case of self-sabotage though. Megan has officially exhausted me, and I promised myself I would stop talking about her as of midnight last night. (he he he) But in an inteview, Paula does comment on how Megan seems to be the type of girl who just doesn't really care (interview link posted in the 'Idol Theme For Next Week Revealed' post) and I gotta go with Paula. She is in fact becoming more sane to me with each and every episode.

    But so happy to finally see a comment from you! You are now 'hep'!
    Keep em' coming! :-)

    ReplyDelete

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