Let me start out by asking, "What is the point of Seacrest twittering the word 'iconic' to describe tonight's cinematic song theme if we're just going to sing Bryan Adams songs and completely ignore the very definition of the word 'iconic'?!" That's the first and last time I ever listen to a tweet! Well, as you may have guessed, Idol (with one exception) was a complete disappointment for me.
Disappointment #1: Allison is in the first slot. Now normally, I would cite my stand-by case of sabotage here, but we finally had one momentous turning point tonight. Simon has finally confessed that Allison is the "only hope" for the girls! True, there is only one other female Allison is up against, but that is still a HUGE statement since it comes from the judge who pre-ordained "No my first name ain't Little, it's Lil, Ms. Rounds (if you're nasty)" in the first place! Allison sang "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" from Armageddon, and, for once, received 100% deserved praise from the judges (even though only 50% of them could speak). But in my humble opinion, Simon and Paula are the only ones that count anyways. Allison did well, despite her suffering tonight from the same ailment Anoopie typically suffers from (ailment being tiny sweat beads attacking a part of one's face. They usually target upper lips, but this time, they found their way onto Ms. Iraheta's chin).
Disappointment #2: I didn't get to hear Simon or Paula's words of wisdom after Anoopie's performance. I only could get a shrug from Simon (I'm guessing he didn't agree with the praise Kara and Randy heaped on Anoop for his Bryan Adams' "Everything I Do, I Do It For You" number). Again, not liking this two judge speaking rule. I mean, they still went over by three minutes, so lets just nix Dio Guardi and maybe about five "for me, for yous" from Randy, k? There was one highlight to Noop's segment, though. And that was Song(?) Mentor Quentin Tarantino telling Noop to "rough it up," growling the lines "I'd lie for you!" "I'd die for you!" (insert overly-aggressive, strange hand motions here). This part was actually pretty strange and just made me wanna say, "Ruff!"
Disappointment #3: Matt ignores my stellar song choice of "Moon River" and sings quite the iconic song of, are you ready for this, "Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman" from the movie, something Demarco. Um, yeah. Again, didn't get to hear Simon's probable bashing of the off-key liberally riff-er-ific interpretation here, but we did manage to get some distracting facials from him, (pretending like he was going to vomit?) all the while Kara talked.
Disappointment #4: Danny ignores mentor advice. Yet again. Since it was Song(?)Mentor Tarantino, I can't say I was as bothered tonight as I was oh, I don't know, the night Danny did not heed the advice of the Smokster! But nonetheless, Song maestro Tarantino requested Danny to push his hands in his pocket, and Danny, true to form, did the typical one-handed reach out all the while singing "Endless Love." Paula liked it, which I am sad to say I disagree with, and after repeatedly saying he was "bored" and "disappointed," about the most positive critique Simon could give was a congratulations for doing a difficult and emotional song. (I know, Danny fans. I know. Ease up. So I will say, I'm sorry. I will even give Gokey props for going sans glasses tonight! He's come a long way from Stay-Puff Land and matching white specs. So, Danny, please forgive me once again. Your performance just wasn't all that.)
Mixed Feeling of The Night #1: Okay. I can't bring myself to label it as a disappointment, because that would just be, well, blasphemy! But I will title it as a mixed feeling. I'm talkin' about Adam's performance of "Born To Be Wild." I don't know guys . . . um, hmmm, yeah. At least he did something truly iconic though! I will say that! And at least he knows who he is and isn't afraid to show it! Okay. I digress now. Gotta get to the spot Adam typically fills, and that's my:
Highlight of the Night!: Kris sings "Falling Slowly" from the movie Once. Or did I get those reversed, because, quite frankly, I haven't heard of either of these. But I will say that this has become one of my new favorite songs. In fact, Kris' performance is the only one I rewound and even downloaded the song as soon as Idol was over. True, this song isn't "iconic." Obviously. It was pretty humorous though how everyone misconstrued this theme, even Song(?) Mentor Tarantino, who said that Kris is one of the few who caught the spirit of the theme because Kris went and saw this movie and it meant something to him and so he sang it. Um, okay. I will overlook all of this because Kris was constrained in all the right ways and still managed to give a very heartfelt, moving performance. He even did those little fist pumps just like he did when he sang "Man in The Mirror" -- when I first fell in love with him. Randy was all "for me for you, it was pitchy." Blah, blah, blah. Let's just tune him out. We can finally tune in Dio Guardi here, who said it was one of his best performances. Paula, of course, giving a sane, approving nod here. Indeed. It was. Bravo Kris! He's all growns up, and he's all growns up!
And that is all the performances of the night. For those of you savvy enough to notice I have only commented on six contestants, I will tell you that this has been a conscious decision on my part. I am choosing to ignore the contestant that was once Lil J. Blige. For those of you who care to know what she sang, you can Google it. For her, for me, I'm finito! This wasted pimp slot would definitely have been a time where the cutting-off of DVRs would be welcomed. Oh wait, it did cut off right in the middle of her ever-present defense mode of her abysmal song choices. Just keep growing that weave out, girl. In fact, I'm feeling spicy enough to just go ahead and predict my elimination for tomorrow night right now: Bye-bye Lil. Simon has finally seen the light, and here's hopin' the rest of America has too!