So the results from Rat Pack night are in, and we said goodbye to Matt G., as most of America predicted. What most of America did not probably expect, however, was that the Second-Coming-of-Elvis himself, Mr. Adam Lambert, would be Matt's bottom two bunk mate.
Now as soon as Ryan sent Kris back to safety (where a shocked and awed Danny and Allison sat), I too sat on my couch with my jaw dropped open, much like fellow jaw-droppers Danny and Allison and ah-hem, someone else(?) (we'll get to that in a moment). But I quickly and flippantly said to my TV, "Yeah right. Give me a break. We all know Adam is safe. You just want to scare us, but it's not working. It would have been more surprising if you kept Kris in the bottom two and actually made us sweat it out a little! Ryan!." (In case you're wondering, yes, I really do talk to my TV out loud like this.) And no matter how much of a front I wanted to put up to my TV, I'll admit, the tiniest of sweat beads (much like those found commonly on Anoopie's upper lip) began breaking out on my forehead.
But if you thought Adam being in the bottom two was weird, let me give you a quick run down of all the uncomfortable events that transpired last night:
4) Gokey gives us the bonus extended version of whatever this secret formula is he has seemed to have figured out. It was a very verbose and cryptic answer, ending in "I have studied performers, and I'd rather not mention who." Hmmm. Why is he being so darn furtive!? And why do I have a feeling he's talking about Adam here? Oooh. It's on like Gokey Kong!
3) This moment also stars Gokey, but it's that jokster Ryan who's the culprit behind our Uncomfortable Moment #3. After a nice little journey to the Idol house, where we watched those silly Idols celebrate birthdays by baking cakes and smearing icing on one another (golly gee guys), Ryan presented Danny with a "Birthday" envelope. Turns out, it was a bill for $6000 for the maid service that cleaned up that gosh darn cake mess! And although this was meant (I think) as a joke, I could tell it made Danny a little uncomfortable, and me as well.
2) The second most uncomfortable moment of the night goes to when Seacrest made lovable Adam choose a side! The NERVE! Adam looks to Danny and Allison. Then looks to Kris and Matt. Don't fall for it Adam! Don't fall for it! But then (after a pushy little Seacrest insists upon it), Adam says, "Well, based on last night . . .." Nooooooo, Adam! Don't do it! Plop your little kiester right in the middle of the two groups a-la Archuletta style. Alas, Adam actually chose and picked to belong to Gokey and Allison, only to be quickly ushered by puppet-master Ryan on over to the dark side. Dun dun dun (that is my stab at ominous music). And finally . . .
1) Uncomfortable Moment #1 . . . drum roll please . . . belongs to none other than . . . Ms. Kara Dio Guardi! Tell em' what she's won Pat. You gotta love it. Kara had another oops! moment when she said "My mouth went open again. That's what happens with Adam. Oh my God." And we have our THIRD BJ reference of the season folks! Hilarious. At least this Kara-ism was acknowledged right away. And if you have to think back to the first reference, I will give you the clue of Tatiana Del Toro. (Now there's a name.)
So what did you all think of this wacky results night? And for the love, could somebody tell me what is up with that robotic thing musicians do in songs nowadays? (Jamie Foxx's performance . . . I can't stand that sound effect!) But hey, it was better than a scat-a-licious Ms. Cole who repeated "somethin's gotta give, somethin's gotta give" about 500 times, with each time getting more off key than the prior. Finally, I found myself, yet again, sad to see "the cat with nine lives" go. I just don't get it. Am I in some kind of abusive relationship with Matt G.? I did find his performance last night better than Tuesday's. Where do you all weigh in on these pressing issues? Feel free to comment below!