SURprise - The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills have a fight, I mean, Dinner.

What is it with these housewives of B. Hills?  They always choose a dinner to solve the world's problems - I mean - their small world problems.  Instead of discussing anything worldy, they hone in on Hois-ee or Joyce, the "one-upper" because she made what I thought was an empathetic comment about losing a dog.  Instead of any peace treaty, we always end up in yet another battle across the table, where the only bombs dropped are the f-kind from Brandy's mouth and lines are drawn between Yolanda's "dream team" (when did Yolanda become so fond of Brandy anyways) and the Hair girls.  Could we please seriously cut off about 6 inches - or 12 from Joyce's head?  Her prettiest moment was at the spa with Kyle when her hair was wrapped in a towel.  I mean, her hair is beautiful and all - but just oh too much.  Kinda like Kyle's ugly huge pendant that always finds her way around her neck?

Anyways, since the rest was so stereotypical of these "ladies", I really just wanted to comment on the best moment of the night:  Jax's face in the background anyone?  Before AND during the cat-fights.  Classic.

Oh yeah, and on an unrelated note - there was Carlton - dropping yet another sexual reference and telling us once again, - how she likes to be naughty.  Oh but this time there was a twist - she brought her mother in law to Hustler while she tried on yet another trashy bikini.  Haven't we already seen this?  Cue Eliz-ee(?) and let's hint around at how we like to be naughty together again.  Maybe Carlton can remind us how she likes her son to be around beautiful women.  Sigh.  Til next time.

Oh no she didn't.  Oh yes she did.  Are we surprised?  Joyce IS annoying - but seriously,
I secretly had her back on this one.

Shhhh ... don't tell the dream team.  I think I just want to go hang out with Kim.

And You, And You, and YOU! -- You're Gonna Love MEEEE ... Um, Do I Have To? Jessica Sanchez Duets With Jennifer Holliday. Yikes.

American Idol runner-up, Jessica Sanchez, sings(?) a duet with Jennifer Holliday.  I wasn't sure who she was either.  In fact, I'm still scratching my head.  I just know a vision appeared on my television Tuesday night around 9:45 p.m.  It wore a green dress.  It had a head.  I think a weave.  And definitely a mouth.  I'm pretty sure Jessica Sanchez stood next to it.  There might have even been some singing.  Or was it profuse yelling?  Um, Seacrest told me it was singing, so I have to go with that.  I'm still twitching nervoulsy in my bed at night thinking about this Tuesday night vision, but with therapy, my counselor says I'll get through it. Here it is below ... Enjoy?

I actually think I'm having flashbacks!  Yes, I HAVE in fact seen this before..

The Bachelorette Premier: Ali Is Our "New" Love Journey Taker ... But Some Things Never Change.

 (Girl, you so crazy!)

Watching tonight's premier of The Bachelorette actually inspired me to put up a post.  Short and sweet, I give you my thoughts on tonight's debut episode.  (Sigh. This is what my writing has come to.)

1.  For the love of God, Mr. Bachelorette Producer:  If you're going to give Ali hair extensions, at least make them shiny and fresh.

2.  If you bring a "gift" (i.e., a scrapbook), you better expect to be dubbed the guy who gets the "Bachelorette stalker music" in the background.

3.  A d-bag shirt like "Rated R" or even a job as a pro wrestler will get you backlash from the other suitors ... HOWEVER, your name in the box will undoubtedly get you a rose.

4.  When Ali says if you don't get a rose, "it's nothing personal," don't believe her.  Because, actually, sweetie, that's exactly what it is.

5.  There is always someone who gives a dance lesson ... and

5.  Lastly, if you tell a girl why your nickname is "Shooter" on the first night, you best expect a premature evacuation from the show.  (Ba-dum-dum-dum.)

That is all.  Who are your early favs?  I like Jesse: the heart whittler.

It's a Crystal / Lee Finale ... And I'm Alright.

(Bye little, Casey.  Hey, we'll always have "Jealous Guy")

I'm alright
Nobody worry 'bout me
The end is now in sight
Will it be Crystal or that damn sexy Lee?

Yes, folks.  Don't worry about me.  I am still alive.  I just haven't been posting as regularly because I've been waiting to be moved again.  And if those hometown visits last night didn't get you a little misty eyed, well then may I suggest you check your pulse. 

In what was probably the most predicted elimination, we said goodbye to that Cool Texan, Casey James, leaving us with the two most deserving contestants of season 9:  Crystal "Mamasox" Bowersox and Lee "You Can Mix My Paint Any Ol' Time" DeWyze.  And while I have always thought Mamasox would wind up with the win, I find myself pulling for Lee.  But (unlike last season), I can honestly say that I'm alright with either.  (And I think most people would agree.)

Lee's hometown visit ... well, let's just say it doesn't get any better than that.  Lee epitomizes what American Idol is all about to me.  I mean, we have seen Crystal's YouTube videos, wherein she sings her city's "anthem" (how cool is that?!) "Holy Toledo" to what seems to be an already established fan base.  Lee, on the other hand, comes straight to us from Mt. Prospect Paint!  And how can you not love his ever-present pink eye and his ever present cupping of the hands, only to place his cute little head in them, and shaking said cute little head in disbelief.  If I had a nickel each time he did this ... Well, I'd still be broke, but you get my point.

"I'm going to win this thing, alright!?," Lee shouted to his fresh new fans as the window in his limo was closing.  And he said it in such a way, almost convincing himself, that you just couldn't help falling in love with the sentimental fellow.  If that didn't get you, cut to Lee singing "The Boxer," choking up on the line "I am leaving, I am leaving," cut to his incredibly cute dad, singing along, only to at the same moment, get choked up himself, shaking his head in incredulous disbelief.  Like father, like son.  Yes, it doesn't get any better than that folks.  Living out your dream - instantly being surrounded by a sea of adoring fans -  in front of the world.

So what do you think of our Final Two?  Need I ask?  Did you think Casey got a raw deal?  I mean, they made him sing his swan song sans guitar, for the love?!  I know ...  let's have you grab a random little girl and have her sit still on your lap to make up for this awkwardness.  Seriously, who was that girl and where did she come from?  I'm back.  And so again is my love for this damn show.  'Til next Tuesday my little Idol-Addicts.

American Idol Season 9: Frank Sinatra Songbook Makes Me Blue ... That's Life! (Recap)

Well folks, I thought I'd write a post tonight about our American Idol Season 9 contestants tackling the songbook of Ol' Blue Eyes, himself.  No, I'm not talking about Harry Connick, Jr., although the Louisianin(?) should be noted as he did go above and beyond the mentoring call of duty - giving Michael Orland the boot and stepping in as composer and even tickling the ivories for the musical accompaniment to our remaining five contestants.  I'm talking about Mr. Frank Sinatra, whose songbook we saw covered during our beloved Season 8.  And, while I knew nothing would compare to Adam Lambert's "Feeling Good" or even Danny Gokey's "Come Rain or Come Shine" (click here for one of my most popular recaps ever), Lee did manage to gain more steam toward his Idol crown while the rest left me lukewarm.  Ah well.  That's Life. Nonetheless, I give you my run-down of tonight's performances:

First up!  Haley Joel Osment!  Who was looking very dapper tonight, I might add. He sang "In Other Words," wherein he riffed a little too much, but then again, what can we expect from a high school student?  (Gasp!)  Simon said if Frank was a lion, Aaron was a mouse. Agreed.  In other words, I'm sooo over this little country noodle.

Next up:  Casey James.  But I can't remember what he sang, and it's only been 20 minutes since he sang it!  What I do remember, however, is that Casey was sans guitar.  Oh Em Gee!  I thought he warned us that we would ALWAYS see him with his ax.  Kara compared his vocal bravado to a lamb, but I always thought it akin to that of Eddie Vedder.  I will agree with Ellen, who astutely noted that Mr. James did not move around in an easy way, with Simon adding that he looked "uncomfortable and embarrassed."  Um, yeah.  So was I.  And I don't think it's because ol' Goldie Locks strayed from his Ashley Olsen hairstyle and sported a bun tonight.  I'm just sayin'.

After the Jump:  Mamasox?  Is that you sassing?!?