my reality bit

Well folks, I thought I'd write a post tonight about our American Idol Season 9 contestants tackling the songbook of Ol' Blue Eyes, himself.  No, I'm not talking about Harry Connick, Jr., although the Louisianin(?) should be noted as he did go above and beyond the mentoring call of duty - giving Michael Orland the boot and stepping in as composer and even tickling the ivories for the musical accompaniment to our remaining five contestants.  I'm talking about Mr. Frank Sinatra, whose songbook we saw covered during our beloved Season 8.  And, while I knew nothing would compare to Adam Lambert's "Feeling Good" or even Danny Gokey's "Come Rain or Come Shine" (click here for one of my most popular recaps ever), Lee did manage to gain more steam toward his Idol crown while the rest left me lukewarm.  Ah well.  That's Life. Nonetheless, I give you my run-down of tonight's performances:

First up!  Haley Joel Osment!  Who was looking very dapp…

Considering I kept busy on my computer all the while Idol played out tonight on my TV screen, only giving the occasional glance up to notice that Lee Dewyze got his hairs cut, Kara got her hairs styled in a flattering manner that I can't quite put my finger on as to why they were so flattering and Simon's buzz cut looked especially unflattering ... I guess you could say it was all one big unnoticeable snooze fest until Crystal "Mamasox" Bowersox took the stage. So really, all I care about commenting on is her for now.

Wicked Mic Stands and Wet Eyes: Now I don't know if Crystal got overly wrapped up in the spirit of today's date, but someone should have told her pot paraphernalia is not allowed on the Idol stage. Oh, I keed. I keed. Crystal's extraordinary mic stand was made from an old lamp with which she always used to perform in her pre-Idol days. Could that sentimentality be what brought on her sudden outburst of tears at the end of her emotional "…

Left:  Kathy Lee Gifford Right:  Ramona Singer from The Real Housewives of New York

Okay, guys, here we go with the Idol results.  Am I the only one who is sick of these results show intro package fake-outs?  You know, wherein they try and make us believe like there were Holyfield vocal TKOs last night?  (Cut to a judge exclamatory:  "Yo, those vocals were hot!!"  Then cut to Andrew Garcia holding a mic that looks as if it just turned gold right before our very eyes.)  Um, am I living in some crazy Harry Potter land?  Because I'm pretty sure this does not accurately reflect what went down on performance night at all.  But then again, I guess if they show what really went down, it would not pump me, the viewer, up.  Unlike those high voltage group sings ... those aren't watered down or lip sunk at all.  Oh what's that?!  Ms. Sleepy Weird-Eyed Gal Herself, Brooke White, and some dude I've never heard of are set to sing tonight?!!!  Well somebody better hold me back! 

Okay okay.  Who peed in my Fruity Pepples, right?  I am excited to see Adam …