The Bachelorette Premier: Ali Is Our "New" Love Journey Taker ... But Some Things Never Change.

 (Girl, you so crazy!)

Watching tonight's premier of The Bachelorette actually inspired me to put up a post.  Short and sweet, I give you my thoughts on tonight's debut episode.  (Sigh. This is what my writing has come to.)

1.  For the love of God, Mr. Bachelorette Producer:  If you're going to give Ali hair extensions, at least make them shiny and fresh.

2.  If you bring a "gift" (i.e., a scrapbook), you better expect to be dubbed the guy who gets the "Bachelorette stalker music" in the background.

3.  A d-bag shirt like "Rated R" or even a job as a pro wrestler will get you backlash from the other suitors ... HOWEVER, your name in the box will undoubtedly get you a rose.

4.  When Ali says if you don't get a rose, "it's nothing personal," don't believe her.  Because, actually, sweetie, that's exactly what it is.

5.  There is always someone who gives a dance lesson ... and

5.  Lastly, if you tell a girl why your nickname is "Shooter" on the first night, you best expect a premature evacuation from the show.  (Ba-dum-dum-dum.)

That is all.  Who are your early favs?  I like Jesse: the heart whittler.

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It's a Crystal / Lee Finale ... And I'm Alright.

(Bye little, Casey.  Hey, we'll always have "Jealous Guy")

I'm alright
Nobody worry 'bout me
The end is now in sight
Will it be Crystal or that damn sexy Lee?

Yes, folks.  Don't worry about me.  I am still alive.  I just haven't been posting as regularly because I've been waiting to be moved again.  And if those hometown visits last night didn't get you a little misty eyed, well then may I suggest you check your pulse. 

In what was probably the most predicted elimination, we said goodbye to that Cool Texan, Casey James, leaving us with the two most deserving contestants of season 9:  Crystal "Mamasox" Bowersox and Lee "You Can Mix My Paint Any Ol' Time" DeWyze.  And while I have always thought Mamasox would wind up with the win, I find myself pulling for Lee.  But (unlike last season), I can honestly say that I'm alright with either.  (And I think most people would agree.)

Lee's hometown visit ... well, let's just say it doesn't get any better than that.  Lee epitomizes what American Idol is all about to me.  I mean, we have seen Crystal's YouTube videos, wherein she sings her city's "anthem" (how cool is that?!) "Holy Toledo" to what seems to be an already established fan base.  Lee, on the other hand, comes straight to us from Mt. Prospect Paint!  And how can you not love his ever-present pink eye and his ever present cupping of the hands, only to place his cute little head in them, and shaking said cute little head in disbelief.  If I had a nickel each time he did this ... Well, I'd still be broke, but you get my point.

"I'm going to win this thing, alright!?," Lee shouted to his fresh new fans as the window in his limo was closing.  And he said it in such a way, almost convincing himself, that you just couldn't help falling in love with the sentimental fellow.  If that didn't get you, cut to Lee singing "The Boxer," choking up on the line "I am leaving, I am leaving," cut to his incredibly cute dad, singing along, only to at the same moment, get choked up himself, shaking his head in incredulous disbelief.  Like father, like son.  Yes, it doesn't get any better than that folks.  Living out your dream - instantly being surrounded by a sea of adoring fans -  in front of the world.

So what do you think of our Final Two?  Need I ask?  Did you think Casey got a raw deal?  I mean, they made him sing his swan song sans guitar, for the love?!  I know ...  let's have you grab a random little girl and have her sit still on your lap to make up for this awkwardness.  Seriously, who was that girl and where did she come from?  I'm back.  And so again is my love for this damn show.  'Til next Tuesday my little Idol-Addicts.

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The Hills are Alive With the Sound of Crazy! Spencer Goes Off His Rocker

The Hills - MTV Shows

In case you missed it, check out the clip above and see how Spencer has officially lost it. Publicity stunt? Probably. I mean, it has caused me to write about him after all. It's actually quite amusing. Spense is always good for a good giggle. And speaking of fame whores, what's up with Ryan Cabrera? Let's do some deep thinking for a second: Exhibit A - He was dating Ashlee Simpson when she had her own reality show. Yeah, remember that? Exhibit B - Then, we saw him dating one of those annoying ugly-crying girls in Pretty Wild. (Be grateful if you don't watch this show.) Exhibit C - Now we see him wooing our very own Dreen-ster in the new season of The Hills?! Coincidence? I think not!

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American Idol Season 9: Frank Sinatra Songbook Makes Me Blue ... That's Life! (Recap)

Well folks, I thought I'd write a post tonight about our American Idol Season 9 contestants tackling the songbook of Ol' Blue Eyes, himself.  No, I'm not talking about Harry Connick, Jr., although the Louisianin(?) should be noted as he did go above and beyond the mentoring call of duty - giving Michael Orland the boot and stepping in as composer and even tickling the ivories for the musical accompaniment to our remaining five contestants.  I'm talking about Mr. Frank Sinatra, whose songbook we saw covered during our beloved Season 8.  And, while I knew nothing would compare to Adam Lambert's "Feeling Good" or even Danny Gokey's "Come Rain or Come Shine" (click here for one of my most popular recaps ever), Lee did manage to gain more steam toward his Idol crown while the rest left me lukewarm.  Ah well.  That's Life. Nonetheless, I give you my run-down of tonight's performances:

First up!  Haley Joel Osment!  Who was looking very dapper tonight, I might add. He sang "In Other Words," wherein he riffed a little too much, but then again, what can we expect from a high school student?  (Gasp!)  Simon said if Frank was a lion, Aaron was a mouse. Agreed.  In other words, I'm sooo over this little country noodle.

Next up:  Casey James.  But I can't remember what he sang, and it's only been 20 minutes since he sang it!  What I do remember, however, is that Casey was sans guitar.  Oh Em Gee!  I thought he warned us that we would ALWAYS see him with his ax.  Kara compared his vocal bravado to a lamb, but I always thought it akin to that of Eddie Vedder.  I will agree with Ellen, who astutely noted that Mr. James did not move around in an easy way, with Simon adding that he looked "uncomfortable and embarrassed."  Um, yeah.  So was I.  And I don't think it's because ol' Goldie Locks strayed from his Ashley Olsen hairstyle and sported a bun tonight.  I'm just sayin'.

After the Jump:  Mamasox?  Is that you sassing?!?

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Casey James Sings "Don't" for American Idol's Country Week

casey 6 @ Yahoo! Video

Props to you C-Dog for acknowledging that you did not give us anything new in your past few performances. Here's Casey's "Don't" in case you missed it last night. And who's with me in starting a petition to make Shania our new judge?! A nice little Randy + Ellen swap!

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The Hills, New Season Clip: Heidi Montag 3.0 - What 10 plus Plastic Surgeries Will Do To You.

Okay, this is seriously uncomfortable to watch. Heidi has become a full-blown SHE-BOT!!! Yeah, her mom might be kind of a be-yotch, but Heids, really? Look at yourself. Do you really think this looks good? It's like all the life and fun has been sucked out of her and in its place ... well you fill in the rest.

There is no denying The Hills lines are scripted and that these friendships are a "bit" forged, if you will. But we can't deny that these once innocent, fresh-faced girls have gotten swept up in this sad superficial LA world. Heidi's face may be fake, but it is very real proof of this. Sad indeed.

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